The Scizz
And we're baaaaaaaaack! With all of the detailed knowledge that you die-hard fans thirst for in the off-season, I've been able to go even deeper into our collection of "talented" un-drafted free agents! Now onto a guy who was listed as "Davis Snow" on the actual Buffalo Bills website for several days before it was corrected!
INFOOOOOOOORMER! Youksndaskhjkshfkasjfjhdsfkjsdfkhsdkjhsdfjhdsfkghsjkhdfjskdhfjdshkjshfjdshfjhf! A MICKEY BOOM-BOOM NOUN!!
(Note: 98% of this profile is completely fabricated and in no way accurate. Just like people who say they hate the NBA and aren't racist.)
And we're baaaaaaaaack! With all of the detailed knowledge that you die-hard fans thirst for in the off-season, I've been able to go even deeper into our collection of "talented" un-drafted free agents! Now onto a guy who was listed as "Davis Snow" on the actual Buffalo Bills website for several days before it was corrected!
INFOOOOOOOORMER! Youksndaskhjkshfkasjfjhdsfkjsdfkhsdkjhsdfjhdsfkghsjkhdfjskdhfjdshkjshfjdshfjhf! A MICKEY BOOM-BOOM NOUN!!
(Note: 98% of this profile is completely fabricated and in no way accurate. Just like people who say they hate the NBA and aren't racist.)
He can hear you thinking with those things.
Position: Offensive Guard
College: Texas
High School: West Canaan High School
Strengths: Quick feet, super acute hearing,
Weaknesses: Coming off of severe calf injury, looks like fat Forrest Gump, and his only experience with playing in Snow is his alone time.
On-field accomplishments: 2011 All Big-12 Honorable Mention
Off-field accomplishment: Has completed the Big Texan Steak Challenge 17 times. He can also write his own name without asking for help!
Favorite Players: Logan Mankins, Kyle Hix, and THE Mike Williams. (Wait, for real? Fuck.)
Other idols: Ralphie May, Ethan Suplee, and George W. Bush
Most embarrassing moment: After enduring too many concussions, passed out in the middle of a game allowing Quarterback Paul Walker to get sacked and subsequently injured. Coach Voight was PISSED!
Goals: Compete for a starting position, make his Daddy proud, and avoid any and all contact with Vince Young for the entire season.
Most memorable moment: The first time he got to play football with a helmet that actually fit his giant head. (2007)
Off-field activities/hobbies: Volunteer member of the Texas Minutemen, Vice-President of Man Vs. Food Fan Club, practicing his spot-on impression of WB cartoon character, Hugo.
College: Texas
High School: West Canaan High School
Strengths: Quick feet, super acute hearing,
Weaknesses: Coming off of severe calf injury, looks like fat Forrest Gump, and his only experience with playing in Snow is his alone time.
On-field accomplishments: 2011 All Big-12 Honorable Mention
Off-field accomplishment: Has completed the Big Texan Steak Challenge 17 times. He can also write his own name without asking for help!
Favorite Players: Logan Mankins, Kyle Hix, and THE Mike Williams. (Wait, for real? Fuck.)
Other idols: Ralphie May, Ethan Suplee, and George W. Bush
Most embarrassing moment: After enduring too many concussions, passed out in the middle of a game allowing Quarterback Paul Walker to get sacked and subsequently injured. Coach Voight was PISSED!
Goals: Compete for a starting position, make his Daddy proud, and avoid any and all contact with Vince Young for the entire season.
Most memorable moment: The first time he got to play football with a helmet that actually fit his giant head. (2007)
Off-field activities/hobbies: Volunteer member of the Texas Minutemen, Vice-President of Man Vs. Food Fan Club, practicing his spot-on impression of WB cartoon character, Hugo.
Which way did he go, George (Wilson), which way did he go?
Favorite Movie: Roadhouse or Cars 2
Favorite Buffalo Bills moment: "Super Bowl 27 & 28"
Favorite Music/Band: Anything with a Banjo and/or washtub.
Most looking forward to....: Hitting deer on the 400 and I-90 with his pick-up truck.
Wow, these are getting harder! Luckily everything you find on goggle is fact. Go Bills! #BillsLegalNonProfitOrganization
Follow me @TheScizz, read four tweets, and then unfollow me!
Favorite Buffalo Bills moment: "Super Bowl 27 & 28"
Favorite Music/Band: Anything with a Banjo and/or washtub.
Most looking forward to....: Hitting deer on the 400 and I-90 with his pick-up truck.
Wow, these are getting harder! Luckily everything you find on goggle is fact. Go Bills! #BillsLegalNonProfitOrganization
Follow me @TheScizz, read four tweets, and then unfollow me!
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