The Scizz
First off, I’ve avoided much of twitter and football all week, so this week will be a very abbreviated version of my preview. But Speedz and Greasico will be dropping their weekly knowledge as is. Now back to the Bills….
Last week sucked. There is no other way around it. The team and fans have now been forced back down to Earth, as Brady has torn apart our heart and souls once again. Part of me is beyond disappointed, but the other part is just happy its over and looking to see what happens this week. If anything, how they play Sunday against the Phins will be a great show of what to really expect from here on out, especially after the Jets dismantling of the Colts. So hold onto your butts and let’s take this ride together.
First off, I’ve avoided much of twitter and football all week, so this week will be a very abbreviated version of my preview. But Speedz and Greasico will be dropping their weekly knowledge as is. Now back to the Bills….
Last week sucked. There is no other way around it. The team and fans have now been forced back down to Earth, as Brady has torn apart our heart and souls once again. Part of me is beyond disappointed, but the other part is just happy its over and looking to see what happens this week. If anything, how they play Sunday against the Phins will be a great show of what to really expect from here on out, especially after the Jets dismantling of the Colts. So hold onto your butts and let’s take this ride together.
One thing to be excite about:
1. Domination of Ryan Tannehill! – This might come back to haunt me if Tanny can throw together a decent game, but over the last couple seasons our D-Line has dominated Tannehill. After a big loss where the line was totally ineffective, I’m hoping “The Cold Front” shows up wanting Dolphin blood. We need to see Mario wreaking havoc and making RyRy look over his should all day. Also fuck Lamar Miller because why is he on my fantasy rankings every season despite always sucking? Fuck him.
One thing I’m terrified about:
1. Rex Ryan. – Oh look who is on the list again? Rex looked like the guy who coached the Jets to failure the last couple seasons last week. I can’t remember the last time I saw this team come apart at the seams so quickly. Sure, the Pats have crushed the Bills many times, but after such a fast start, the Pats bounced back fast and just mind fucked the whole team. The comeback was nice, but the first half showed an undisciplined team who was so outcoached it has me questioning if we Got Rex Ryan 2011 or Rex Ryan 2014. It really does terrify me.
Drink of the Week: Red Wine
1. Domination of Ryan Tannehill! – This might come back to haunt me if Tanny can throw together a decent game, but over the last couple seasons our D-Line has dominated Tannehill. After a big loss where the line was totally ineffective, I’m hoping “The Cold Front” shows up wanting Dolphin blood. We need to see Mario wreaking havoc and making RyRy look over his should all day. Also fuck Lamar Miller because why is he on my fantasy rankings every season despite always sucking? Fuck him.
One thing I’m terrified about:
1. Rex Ryan. – Oh look who is on the list again? Rex looked like the guy who coached the Jets to failure the last couple seasons last week. I can’t remember the last time I saw this team come apart at the seams so quickly. Sure, the Pats have crushed the Bills many times, but after such a fast start, the Pats bounced back fast and just mind fucked the whole team. The comeback was nice, but the first half showed an undisciplined team who was so outcoached it has me questioning if we Got Rex Ryan 2011 or Rex Ryan 2014. It really does terrify me.
Drink of the Week: Red Wine
Yeah I said it. I love me a good cabernet, and sometimes drinking red wine during football games makes me feel classy. It also makes me feel like an alcoholic but, ya know, details. I’m gonna throw back a few reds Sunday since I’m still not drinking beer and I’m a bit vodka’d out already. I recommend a good inexpensive red called “Menage a Trois”. It’s cheaper and has an amazing flavor. Also I assume Shady McCoy drinks it. Zing!
Fantasy Football Diamond in the rough and Fugazi of the week:
In a new feature for the previews, my buddy Dane aka Speedz Keyno (check his great podcast) will feature some fantasy football takes, well, let's have him explain:
Diamonds in the Rough are guys who have warts and may not be expected to produce all season, but who have a favorable matchup or gameflow this week... Sometimes ya got to dig for it!
Fugazis? What's a fugazi? It looks nice and shiny - like something you want to spend some money on... But it's a fake, a fraud. You buy that, you're a real dunceski.
Hey Scizz - So I’d say that Moncrief call looked ok huh? Hope you guys are getting these winners! Had Tyrod in my DFS lineups and got paid, gotta ride the T-Train again down in Miami, and Charles Clay is a Low budget option against his former team. As Bell-i-cheater would say, on to week 3…
Diamond 1 - LeVeon Bell – Yes, he was and is one of the biggest threats in football, so how is he a Diamond in the rough? I’ve actually heard people concerned about D’Angelo Williams cutting into is work load or saying they need to see it before they start him this year. Speedz is here to tell you to ignore D’Angelo’s 224 combined yards and 3 TD’s in 2 weeks. Ignore the Ridiculously good Rams D-Line at home. Pittsburgh will move the ball, use LeVeon on the edges, and he’ll produce as usual. You drafted him #1 and were “LeVeon a Prayer” so don’t get cute now.
122 Total Yards, 6+ Rec, TD
Diamond 2 - Terrance Williams - So last week I gave you Jason Witten as a Diamond on the premise that Romo has to go somewhere without Dez, right? Well this week it's the same and with Witten's 133 consecutive games streak now in jeopardy, BRANDON WEEDEN (Yes, Brandon Weeden – or maybe Matt Cassell – it really doesn’t matter) will go where he's comfortable. Dallas will have to throw to stick with Atlanta in this game and one thing Weeden is no stranger to is chucking it deep. I like the Dallas Deep threat to hit…once. Or Cassell, it really doesn’t matter.
6 Rec, 93 Yards, TD
Fugazi 1 – Brandin Cooks – I’m sounding the alarm on the Saints. We may start seeing bags on heads in the dome again and Sean Payton will have a new job by Valentine’s Day 2016. The Saints have no deep threats and Drew Brees is more banged up than after a night on Bourbon Street. Add to that the fact that the Panthers have held opposing WR1’s to under 60 yards in their last 9 games dating back to last year – including Julio Jones twice, Josh Gordon, and DeAndre Hopkins last week. Carolina will be all over the dink and dunk, so stay away from the chef.
5 Rec, 57 Yards
Fugazi 2 - David Johnson - You saw that 108 yard kickoff return last week? Saw how he looked on that TD run? I see the spike in his Daily league price and know that TD's are fluky for the most part. He was still out-touched 20-6 by Chris Johnson (no relation). Bruce Arians still hates rookies and Carson Palmer will do more work than Johnson & Johnson. As Biggie once said…This goes out to you, and you, and you. David may see more of a workload but I expect tougher sledding vs. the San Fran defense in a divisional matchup. His reign on the top was shorter than leprechauns. Jesus, get off this notorious…
48 Combined Yards
Also keep an eye on Matt Jones taking more snaps away from Alfred Morris, Leonard Hankerson being the #2 option if Roddy White finally realizes he’s old, and James Starks if Lacy can’t go Monday night…
Fantasy Football Diamond in the rough and Fugazi of the week:
In a new feature for the previews, my buddy Dane aka Speedz Keyno (check his great podcast) will feature some fantasy football takes, well, let's have him explain:
Diamonds in the Rough are guys who have warts and may not be expected to produce all season, but who have a favorable matchup or gameflow this week... Sometimes ya got to dig for it!
Fugazis? What's a fugazi? It looks nice and shiny - like something you want to spend some money on... But it's a fake, a fraud. You buy that, you're a real dunceski.
Hey Scizz - So I’d say that Moncrief call looked ok huh? Hope you guys are getting these winners! Had Tyrod in my DFS lineups and got paid, gotta ride the T-Train again down in Miami, and Charles Clay is a Low budget option against his former team. As Bell-i-cheater would say, on to week 3…
Diamond 1 - LeVeon Bell – Yes, he was and is one of the biggest threats in football, so how is he a Diamond in the rough? I’ve actually heard people concerned about D’Angelo Williams cutting into is work load or saying they need to see it before they start him this year. Speedz is here to tell you to ignore D’Angelo’s 224 combined yards and 3 TD’s in 2 weeks. Ignore the Ridiculously good Rams D-Line at home. Pittsburgh will move the ball, use LeVeon on the edges, and he’ll produce as usual. You drafted him #1 and were “LeVeon a Prayer” so don’t get cute now.
122 Total Yards, 6+ Rec, TD
Diamond 2 - Terrance Williams - So last week I gave you Jason Witten as a Diamond on the premise that Romo has to go somewhere without Dez, right? Well this week it's the same and with Witten's 133 consecutive games streak now in jeopardy, BRANDON WEEDEN (Yes, Brandon Weeden – or maybe Matt Cassell – it really doesn’t matter) will go where he's comfortable. Dallas will have to throw to stick with Atlanta in this game and one thing Weeden is no stranger to is chucking it deep. I like the Dallas Deep threat to hit…once. Or Cassell, it really doesn’t matter.
6 Rec, 93 Yards, TD
Fugazi 1 – Brandin Cooks – I’m sounding the alarm on the Saints. We may start seeing bags on heads in the dome again and Sean Payton will have a new job by Valentine’s Day 2016. The Saints have no deep threats and Drew Brees is more banged up than after a night on Bourbon Street. Add to that the fact that the Panthers have held opposing WR1’s to under 60 yards in their last 9 games dating back to last year – including Julio Jones twice, Josh Gordon, and DeAndre Hopkins last week. Carolina will be all over the dink and dunk, so stay away from the chef.
5 Rec, 57 Yards
Fugazi 2 - David Johnson - You saw that 108 yard kickoff return last week? Saw how he looked on that TD run? I see the spike in his Daily league price and know that TD's are fluky for the most part. He was still out-touched 20-6 by Chris Johnson (no relation). Bruce Arians still hates rookies and Carson Palmer will do more work than Johnson & Johnson. As Biggie once said…This goes out to you, and you, and you. David may see more of a workload but I expect tougher sledding vs. the San Fran defense in a divisional matchup. His reign on the top was shorter than leprechauns. Jesus, get off this notorious…
48 Combined Yards
Also keep an eye on Matt Jones taking more snaps away from Alfred Morris, Leonard Hankerson being the #2 option if Roddy White finally realizes he’s old, and James Starks if Lacy can’t go Monday night…
Buffalo Bills Player / Pro Wrestler of the Week:
After ordering the WWE network last summer to keep myself occupied during my off weeks from work, it has now taken me down a giant wormhole of professional wrestling that has me listening to not one, but TWO wrestling podcasts every week, watching random streams of Japanese wrestling, and also going to my first live indie wrestling show in Queens a couple of weeks ago. I’m sure as I resume work this obsession will die down, but for now I thought this would be fun.
Roman Reigns: Although I’ve argued with Joe from BuffaloWins several times about this guy and how he isn’t nearly as bad as people think he is, I do hate the fact that he has been shoved down fans’ throats so much despite still being green as fuck in a wrestling ring. It’s been hard to stay positive week, so here we are….Roman is a douchenozzle who needs to go away.
What Bills player matches up with a disappointing Roman Reigns that I’m tired of seeing? I’m gonna get some hate for this but how about Eric Wood? Dude has looked subpar at best over these first two games. He’s supposed to be the heart and soul of that line and Incognito is picking up the pieces. I’ll probably be back to loving him next week, but for now I hate his stupid from and his goofy ass face.
El Greasico
IYAAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
Its Lil "The biggest lady killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson' Greasico. Awwww. Poor Buffaloes fans. You thought you can troll the Pats and will your way to victory, but the football Gods that born again Christian Fatsman Yachter warned you about, had their way and now you are back to being losers.
IYAAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
You out of shape sweat hogs wanted Brady and he fucked you with a crab infested dildo and you found yourselves waking up in a jail cell next to some naked hairy guy who calls himself Beardo.
IYAAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
Maybe you should have wanted that shitty backup QB the Pats had. No, not Matt White Cassel, but that Grapoopie guy. The NFL and the Fatriots fucked all of this up. I dont know how you could take a side between any of those pendejos. Its like picking between Donald Trump and that guy with the spaghetti hairstyle from the GOPOOPIE. Fuck both of them. At least in Mexican soccer we admit to fucking up with fixing games. These fucking twats still think they are both in the right. Anyways, fuck Jamestown for giving birth to Roger Gawdell. Fuck Boston for being burned to the ground and not staying burned after their massacre in the 1700s. And Fuck Tom Brady for cheating on
Oh, and the refs can suck my left nuts (Yes, I have 3 nuts). Why in the blue hell do we have old people in their 60s refereeing games? Last I checked, when you hit your 60s, you get put out to pasture by losing your job and are sentenced to an old folks home where you shit your pants, yell about blacks, and try to avoid your nuts sagging into the toilet water. These old fucktards kiss the skeleton skull of Ronald Regan as luck before they go out to fuck up an NFL game. Get off my TV and put in the strippers I bang at strip clubs as candy stripe refs.
IYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAY
Oh, for this week, I think Miami does serious cocaine at halftime and run up 40 2nd half points on the Bills. Miami wins, 64-31.
Final Prediction:
Despite my negativity, I’m going to try and stay hopeful. Miami keeps it close at home but Bills find a way. Sports!
Bills 24 – Miami 20
El Greasico
IYAAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
Its Lil "The biggest lady killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson' Greasico. Awwww. Poor Buffaloes fans. You thought you can troll the Pats and will your way to victory, but the football Gods that born again Christian Fatsman Yachter warned you about, had their way and now you are back to being losers.
IYAAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
You out of shape sweat hogs wanted Brady and he fucked you with a crab infested dildo and you found yourselves waking up in a jail cell next to some naked hairy guy who calls himself Beardo.
IYAAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
Maybe you should have wanted that shitty backup QB the Pats had. No, not Matt White Cassel, but that Grapoopie guy. The NFL and the Fatriots fucked all of this up. I dont know how you could take a side between any of those pendejos. Its like picking between Donald Trump and that guy with the spaghetti hairstyle from the GOPOOPIE. Fuck both of them. At least in Mexican soccer we admit to fucking up with fixing games. These fucking twats still think they are both in the right. Anyways, fuck Jamestown for giving birth to Roger Gawdell. Fuck Boston for being burned to the ground and not staying burned after their massacre in the 1700s. And Fuck Tom Brady for cheating on
Oh, and the refs can suck my left nuts (Yes, I have 3 nuts). Why in the blue hell do we have old people in their 60s refereeing games? Last I checked, when you hit your 60s, you get put out to pasture by losing your job and are sentenced to an old folks home where you shit your pants, yell about blacks, and try to avoid your nuts sagging into the toilet water. These old fucktards kiss the skeleton skull of Ronald Regan as luck before they go out to fuck up an NFL game. Get off my TV and put in the strippers I bang at strip clubs as candy stripe refs.
IYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAY
Oh, for this week, I think Miami does serious cocaine at halftime and run up 40 2nd half points on the Bills. Miami wins, 64-31.
Final Prediction:
Despite my negativity, I’m going to try and stay hopeful. Miami keeps it close at home but Bills find a way. Sports!
Bills 24 – Miami 20
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