This team's offensive line is fucking incredible for the first time since the Super Bowl era.
While it appeared many players were moping around and preoccupied with the Spiller injury, the big grunts up front continued to play the game like they were supposed to, which is dominating the opposing defense by opening up monster holes and giving Fitzpatrick all the time in the world to make plays. Never once did it look like they let up or took any plays off, even though Tashard fucking Choice was now the guy they had to make look good. And make him look good they did. Listen, I'm not going to call Choice complete garbage, he did an admirable job, but this offensive line is the real deal, and whether it is Freddie Jackson, C.J. Spiller, Choice, Johnny White, Shawn Bryson, Greg Bell, Robb Riddick, or the ghost of Wayne Patrick, these beasts are going to open up holes bigger than those belonging to Jenna Haze (mental image!). The big three in the middle of Eric Wood, Andy Levitre, and Kraig Urbik are punishing opposing DT's, Cordy Glenn looks like he could be an elite LT in the NFL, Erik Pears (who is still playing hurt) is quietly dominating on the right side, meanwhile for the first time since I can remember, Chris Hairston and Chad Rinehart have given the Buffalo Bills DEPTH on the offensive line. GOOD DEPTH!!!!! Hell, Hairston looks like he can easily start at either tackle position and Gailey is getting him reps in every game. I love these brutes and there is no fucking way I'm counting Fitz's "fumble" last week as a sack. They're still perfect.
Yet despite last year's happy Bills/Pats moment, this week also always terrifies me because the New England Patriots come to town to most likely dash all of my hopes and dreams for a successful Bills season. As the Cruise Ship has mentioned to me many times, if this team can sweep New England, all is forgiven and the Bills can do anything they want during the other 14 games. I also want that more than anything. To see douche-hoodie and Tom Brady pout on the sidelines not once, but twice in a season would fan-fucking-tastic. But let's not get a head of ourselves tooooo much because the Bills just need to pull this win out first, and it won't be easy. Tom Brady and crew are beyond pissed after dropping two in a row, especially because they blame the replacement refs. Well guess what, ladies? Welcome to every other team in the NFL. This is what happens when 90% of calls don't go your way and bad calls can actually cost you a game. Fuck off.
The good news for both sides (I think) is that apparently the NFL has struck a deal with regular referees, so we can look forward to numerous late hit calls on the Buffalo defense while Brady runs to them bitching like a little....a.....bitch.
The other good news is that it looks like Tashard Choice may not be alone in the backfield Sunday. Fred Jackson has practiced all week and although he doesn't feel great, there is an outside chance he gets some playing time. Even C.J. Spiller's once believed to be season ending injury (ok maybe just in the room the Deeg were watching) is minor and Spiller is doing everything he can to make it back this week or next. Not bad for two injuries that looked like they could have sidelined these chaps for a career, lets alone several weeks. Anyways, enjoy Tawmmy Brady bitching on the sidelines and then let's get to the rest of this disaster of a preview.
The three keys for this week are pretty simple, considering we all know what needs to happen to stop the Patriots. Then again maybe not. I once drunkenly bet a Pats fan $50 that Buffalo would beat them IN NEW ENGLAND. This was Four years ago during the height of "the streak". I never paid him and claimed temporary insanity.
1. Stick with the game plan and don't get fancy. With Spiller most likely out, Chan will definitely have to mix up the offensive plans slightly, but the last thing he should be doing is going to constant five receiver sets and putting the game in Fitz's hands. Once again, this O-line has been great, so let Choice, or Freddie, or even Johnny White take on the load against a New England line that is nowhere near as scary as it once was. Wilfork is getting old and I can't even name another D-line starter, so pound the ball and don't even think about running a Brad Smith end around pass to Donald Jones down the sidelines.
2. Destroy Tom Brady. Seriously. If Mario and company can re-create last week (and some) by getting at Tawmmy as much as possible, I think they can disrupt his rhythm enough to make a difference. I know that Brady is one of the few QB's in the league that can shake off a beating, but his current O-line is balls awful and the last two weeks he hasn't been getting the endless time in the pocket he used to. Buffalo has to capitalize on that.
3. Keep Gronk's cold streak going. With Aaron Hernandez out for the year, Gronk has had an incredibly quiet season thus far since teams have just one Tight End to focus on. The last thing the Bills want is to have him snap out of that funk with a ton of big catches over the middle. Every game since he has been a patriot, Rob Gronkowski has OWNED the Buffalo Bills, and this is the game to end that streak. And the next guy to mention Kellen Winslow as a threat gets pistol whipped. /Looks into future, witnesses Winslow's 7 catch 100 yard stat line. //Smacks self in face with 9 iron.
Gold on the Ceiling by The Black Keys. Not exactly indie darlings anymore, and considered played out by many, the Black Keys still kill it with this song. Ever since the Apologist suggested we use it to close out a CrapTastiCast last year, I've kept this on my regular rotation. Plus it reminds me of an episode of MTV Cribs where Master P showed of actual gold ceilings in his bedroom. Wait, is that two MTV Cribs references in two weeks? I'm awesome/sad.
Simon Says (Remix) by Pharoahe Monch and friends. This song makes me want to punch things over and over. And by things I mean spoiled and whiny Boston fans.
Wires by Red Fang. Big ups to Phil over at BBG who recommended these guys to me this summer when I asked for some new Metal to listen to. I found a few favorites immediately and "Wires" makes it to every one of my running playlists. And the video to this song is phenomenal.
Random Buffalo Bill of the week:
Holy. Shit. With the release of Brian Moorman, who will probably be known as the greatest punter in Buffalo history (yippee), I started thinking back on former Bills to name here. Rick Tuten went on to have a decent career in Seattle, so that wasn't random enough, John Kidd and Chris Mohr were institutions in Buffalo back in the day, and Shaun Powell, although super creepy, isn't ready for the random title yet. That's when I remembered a 6th round draft pick from 1990 named John Nies who played four games for Buffalo that season. It also led me to this beyond unintentionally funny Wikipedia entry that you must read. Amazeballs! Two more fun facts: His company, "Chi-Force" which is named in the entry, is actually ran out of Red Bank, New Jersey. Red Bank was one of the final wedding venues that my fiancee and I almost settled on. Also, don't do a google image search for Nies unless you want to look at weiner. Seriously.
Last week after posting Jonathan Stupar as my "random Buffalo Bill of the week", I received a hilarious comment on the post from the Deeg's own Buffalo correspondant, the Outlander. It was a comment that made me spit-take and then immediately want to know more details about it. Thus, the legendary drunken hook-up of the week was born. I don't want to keep this blog mega-chauvinistic, so I will be accepting submissions from all people, male, female, gay, straight, bi, or whatever floats your boat. All names will be changed to protect the innocent and blah blah blah. Just make sure alcohol and hilarious hook-ups are involved. (E-mail me at email@example.com) But if the name Mike Harrington comes up you are immediately shunned and I'm calling the police. So for this week, I'll leave you to the guy who started it all: the Outlander!
"My second year of grad school, Penn State threw us a “welcome back” wine and cheese reception on campus. Generally this was tailored to the older, more mature, career-oriented student body and not the 23-year olds barely a year removed from keg stands in college but whatever, free booze. So instead of talking to the professors about copyright law or whatever shit, I camped out with a few of my alcoholic buddies and proceeded to throw back a copious amount of wine and pepper jack cheese. Anyways, our alumni director “Amanda” was there mingling with the returning students. I may have seen her in passing but as the wine sweats kicked in I couldn’t stop staring at those eyes, these brown, dagger eyes, or as they have been called, “fuck me” eyes. I decided I would have to try and pursue this as the evening progressed.
With a little cajoling we persuade her to join us at this bar downtown with hundreds of European and American microbrews. There were probably a dozen or so of us out so I could concentrate on talking to Amanda, where I found out she was a bit older (27 or so), and had two brothers on the Penn State football team, Jonathan being one of them. Also, she informed me that her “Uncle Jeff” was none other than that motherfucking Bills killer Jeff Hostetler. This motivates me more because in my intoxicated state I think bedding "Amanda" may be the key to erasing nearly twenty years of Buffalo sports devastation, kind of like Neo in The Matrix.
Next thing I remember I’m being a super classy grad student and making out hardcore with our alumni director in the bar in front of my classmates. Instead of going back to her apartment, I decide my townhouse with the three roommates and the twin bed would be the correct decision, (isn’t the older person supposed to overrule here where needed?) but she obliges. She went down on me that night and a few times after that (we were kind of a thing for a few weeks), but I never got to close the deal. Therefore I still feel responsible for the ongoing parade of horrors the Bills and Sabres encounter every week. She’s like my white whale (no pun intended). She was damn talented though.
Anyways, I laughed my ass off when we signed her brother years later. I actually won twenty dollars from a buddy when I bet that he would be on the opening day roster. As for "Amanda", she stopped talking to me at some point in my last year when I decided to give my fantasy football team a name that alluded to our torrid encounter in rather graphic terms and it got back to her. Now it is up to someone else to lift the curse on our beloved teams. Perhaps you?
@BLeez17 - During the whole Drew Magary blow-up when he torched the Buffalo Bills and the fanbase in a hilarious and satirical manner, this gentleman became an instant follow for me after I saw him destroy several mouth breather Bills fans who couldn't take a joke. Or in most cases, just didn't get the joke and then responded at Magary with homophobic slurs (#becauseitsbuffalo). Since then, Brett's tweets are continuously some of the best on my timeline, and his avatar never gets old.
Worst Twitter Bills fans of the week:
That dumb Sabres Cutie hose beast. First of all, your twitter name is full of lies. You are not a "cutie". Second, the garbage that comes out of his mouth is migraine inducing. Every time someone RT's it's words into my TL and it isn't to make fun of her, they get an automatic unfollow from me.
I got pretty close with both stat predictions last week. Mario got his first sack and looked phenomenal all day, meanwhile Chandler only hauled in two grabs and Fitz didn't look his way near enough as he should of. Let's see if I can keep the streak alive for the defense.
Top Stat line of the week: Nick Barnett: 7 tackles, 1 sack, 1 TAINT
Bold prediction, I know. But as as much as we of the Deeg make fun of Barnett for being the Bills Mafia "patron saint", he has looked really good this year in both stopping the run and pass coverage. Last year at home he played great against Brady, and this team needs him to help shut down Gronk.
Garbage pale Stat line of the week: Mark Anderson: 1 tackle, no sacks, benched for Chris Kelsay
I think the Defensive line will play well again, but the Pats will make sure their former sack leader gets shut down in his first game against them. I hope I'm wrong. Chris Kelsay is still AWFUL.
Bill Belichick - Hoodie Rash
Rob Gronkowski - Every STD known to man
Vince Wilfork: Two bear claws lodged in the abdominal region
Tom Brady - Impacted Bundchen
Potential Bills Injuries for the week:
After last week's Spiller debacle, I have just one that will in no way ever matter.
Tarvaris Jackson - Restless Leg Syndrome
Drunkest Deeg member of the week:
I'm honestly not sure who took the title last weekend, which is probably a sign that I one won again. However, I don't think any of us were THAT drunk, so I'm giving it to Yachter's girlfriend's roommate Jen, because why the fuck not.
This week is a toss up. As of right now I may not be watching with the crew. After a morning 5k in Brooklyn, the Pants and I may be heading back to Hoboken to hang with her friends at an Arts & Music Festival. No worries though, it's just an excuse to drink on the street. I'll still be watching. With Dubs still on baby duty, that leaves Yachtsman and Apologist together, with the possibility of our dear friend Grandpa Tim joining them. I'm going with Apologist, who by all accounts (or no accounts?) could have been the winner last week. This could be one of those off weeks for DGWU Sports debauchery.
Overall Score: Ugh. I hate this part. Danny Woodhead and Wes Welker combine for 300 yards of offense.
Patriots 27 - Bills 13
At 1:58...."Just give it to 'em".