Hi. I'm the Scizz. I write for this blog. Earlier today I found out that Buffalo Sabres' defenseman Tyler Myers has a broken leg and is out for the rest of the year. My immediate reaction?
So since I realized that two seasons ago this would have left me distraught and my day ru-eened, I figured I'd provide a quick list of 10 things that concern me more right now. This is probably pretty stupid but it took 11 minutes for me to write it, so get bent.
10. Giving up beer for 6 out of 7 days a week until my wedding, June 1st. Why did I do this? I know I want Jesus abs for the honeymoon and everything, but holy christ do I love beer. I'll never make it.
9. Whether to watch re-runs of Samford & Son, Wonder Years, or the 1960's Spider-Man cartoon on Netflix after work.
8. The homeless guy outside my job that looks suspiciously like Mike Harrington. (I still got it! Yeeeeeeeah!)
7. Kris Letang's injuries. Motherfucker is on my fantasy team and I neeeeeeeed him right now. That shit matters.
6. *WARNING! SEMI-POLITICAL SENTENCE* People that can say with a straight face that automatic weapons serve a purpose in society outside of law-enforcement and the military.
5. Choosing the Yachtsman to be my best man and Barrister to be the man who marries me to my wife. I have nobody else to blame but myself.
4.This weird rash on my inner thigh.
3. Russ Brandon is still a thing.
2. The Knicks' winning streak has ended, Tyson Chandler and Kenyon Martin are injured, and the name James Singleton is being floated around. Dumb sports.
1. How am I going to survive my bachelor party? Like, seriously you guys? I'm concerned for my own well-being and all those around me that weekend. Take your craziest bender and multiply it by a hundred. Now you're getting close to the level of debauchery that's going to happen. I'm scared.
THESE are things to be concerned about. Feel free to add your own in the comments below.
Unless of course this is some rare, catastrophic leg-break that means Tyler Myers will never play hockey again and I probably should have taken the whole situation more serious. In that case, please contact @JoeBuffaloWins for all of your hate and concerns. He actually wrote this.