The Barrister
This may or may not be a colossal waste of time. Except I'm drinking a giant Sierra Nevada and everything about tonight rules as a consequence. Here we go.
7:37 - I'm starting late because I needed to eat. Typical. The Mets are down one in the bottom of the second. Daniel Murphy made it on base in the first but I can't recall how. In the bottom of the first, Jason Bay gifted the Braves with a big error, leading to guy on second with no outs and an eventual unearned run on subsequent sac flies. After absolutely thieving that HR last night, though, I'm declaring it a wash. Upside is there is plenty of ballgame left for him to make up for it.
I just banked on Jason Bay making good baseball plays. This is how bizarre this Mets team is making me.
(continue with this adventure in stupidity after the jump...)
This may or may not be a colossal waste of time. Except I'm drinking a giant Sierra Nevada and everything about tonight rules as a consequence. Here we go.
7:37 - I'm starting late because I needed to eat. Typical. The Mets are down one in the bottom of the second. Daniel Murphy made it on base in the first but I can't recall how. In the bottom of the first, Jason Bay gifted the Braves with a big error, leading to guy on second with no outs and an eventual unearned run on subsequent sac flies. After absolutely thieving that HR last night, though, I'm declaring it a wash. Upside is there is plenty of ballgame left for him to make up for it.
I just banked on Jason Bay making good baseball plays. This is how bizarre this Mets team is making me.
(continue with this adventure in stupidity after the jump...)
What would this be if I didn't start with a picture of "Old Salty Lips."
7:44 - Santana is stuck in a little bit of a jam. Two men on. The Braves racist chant music rains down on a half-empty stadium in a moment of tragic hilarity. Good god, America is something else sometimes.
7:47 - Santana just hurled his 40th pitch. In the second inning. Not the best start. I still don't see him going 6 or 7 innings anytime soon. That said, I also don't see him giving up 4 or 5 run leads, so I suppose I can live with it while he keeps coming back.
7:53 - I should have qualified my Santana predictions with earned runs. 5-0 Braves, but two errors make this a team issue. Just one out and a guy on second, so this inning is far from over. Just lovely.
I am regretting this live blog idea already. I suppose it took less time than I actually expected.
7:44 - Santana is stuck in a little bit of a jam. Two men on. The Braves racist chant music rains down on a half-empty stadium in a moment of tragic hilarity. Good god, America is something else sometimes.
7:47 - Santana just hurled his 40th pitch. In the second inning. Not the best start. I still don't see him going 6 or 7 innings anytime soon. That said, I also don't see him giving up 4 or 5 run leads, so I suppose I can live with it while he keeps coming back.
7:53 - I should have qualified my Santana predictions with earned runs. 5-0 Braves, but two errors make this a team issue. Just one out and a guy on second, so this inning is far from over. Just lovely.
I am regretting this live blog idea already. I suppose it took less time than I actually expected.
Racist Baseball
8:02 - this inning is interminable. And don't get my pic of Chipper wrong. He's not necessarily racist, other than the name on his chest. I still can't comprehend how these kinds of team names still exist. Harping on things like this, just because of the principle of it, is one of my favorite things to do. AnI will casually ignore that, no matter the overt remnants of racism, 90% of the reason I hate the Braves is just because they're usually better than the Mets.
8:05 - My internet keeps going out, yet Weebly has miraculously saved all of my progress. This is an unexpected treat for the night.
8:11 - The Mets go quietly in the 3rd. They're down 6-0 if anyone cares. You most surely don't!
8:12 - Car commercials reminding me of upcoming fatherhood. This is getting real, people. I really should mature and stop writing on a sports blog. Or people should start paying me to do this and I'll be a stay at home dad.
8:14 - Realization that the idea of me making money to be an asshole online is laughably far-fetched. Holding back the tears as I struggle to keep this going.
8:15 - OH SNAP. Forgot the NFL schedule came out. As soon as I ate dinner, apparently, most of my focus was wiped clean in a mess of grease and meat and cheese.
8:17 - Taking a look at the Bills schedule, I see the initial disappointment loud and clear -- no MNF in Buffalo this year. A lot of fans, myself included, were hoping for a shot at erasing the memory of Dallas at the Ralph. Ugh. I drank til I didn't have feelings anymore after that game. It was a questionable lapse in judgment for all parties involved.
8:05 - My internet keeps going out, yet Weebly has miraculously saved all of my progress. This is an unexpected treat for the night.
8:11 - The Mets go quietly in the 3rd. They're down 6-0 if anyone cares. You most surely don't!
8:12 - Car commercials reminding me of upcoming fatherhood. This is getting real, people. I really should mature and stop writing on a sports blog. Or people should start paying me to do this and I'll be a stay at home dad.
8:14 - Realization that the idea of me making money to be an asshole online is laughably far-fetched. Holding back the tears as I struggle to keep this going.
8:15 - OH SNAP. Forgot the NFL schedule came out. As soon as I ate dinner, apparently, most of my focus was wiped clean in a mess of grease and meat and cheese.
8:17 - Taking a look at the Bills schedule, I see the initial disappointment loud and clear -- no MNF in Buffalo this year. A lot of fans, myself included, were hoping for a shot at erasing the memory of Dallas at the Ralph. Ugh. I drank til I didn't have feelings anymore after that game. It was a questionable lapse in judgment for all parties involved.
8:27 - Internet went out again. Time Warner can lick my balls.
Before I go back to discussing the schedule, Mike Baxter (who??) gets an RBI and the Mets trim the lead to 4. Heh. Trim.
8:28 - This beer is fantastic
8:29 - Back to the schedule. Things I notice that interest me:
- Open and close the season against Tebow and the Jets. I enjoy the idea of a frigid Week 17 at the Ralph against division rivals.
- After fucking up a few of the Toronto games by scheduling divisional rivals and/or warm weather teams who might struggle in the cold winds of Orchard Park, we reportedly get the Seahawks for a 4 pm game at the Rogers Centre. I can accept that.
- Another early season game against the Chiefs. Not a whole lot to say other than I hope the Bills treat them as savagely as they did last year.
- November 4th, Mario Williams returns to Texas. I can't say I'll much care. I'm regretting decision to make note of it.
- Pats games are early this year. If the Bills are going to make a run at the division, the Pats will be the team to beat. And the Bills will have to get it done early in the season.
- Late season games against last season's worst from the NFC West. The inverse of this is the early season game against the Niners right on the heels of the first Pats game. Could realistically be looking at a 3-4 start but still with a good chance at a winning record.
- We do get a nationally televised on the TVs of those wealthy enough to get the NFL Network. Or DirecTV. Either way, that'll be a night to hit the bar for me. I'd say Yachtsman's couch except I am tiring of getting routinely violated by his pooch.
8:39 - I had a lot more thoughts than I expected.
8:40 - David Wright is up, still looking for his first hit. One out in the top of the 5th. Still 6-2. Kevin Burkhardt is talking so I may be three minutes away from dying as a result of bleeding from my ears.
8:42 - Wright got his single.
8:43 - Ike walks. He and Wright on 1st and 2nd, respectively.
8:44 - Don't worry guys! Jason Bay is up.
Before I go back to discussing the schedule, Mike Baxter (who??) gets an RBI and the Mets trim the lead to 4. Heh. Trim.
8:28 - This beer is fantastic
8:29 - Back to the schedule. Things I notice that interest me:
- Open and close the season against Tebow and the Jets. I enjoy the idea of a frigid Week 17 at the Ralph against division rivals.
- After fucking up a few of the Toronto games by scheduling divisional rivals and/or warm weather teams who might struggle in the cold winds of Orchard Park, we reportedly get the Seahawks for a 4 pm game at the Rogers Centre. I can accept that.
- Another early season game against the Chiefs. Not a whole lot to say other than I hope the Bills treat them as savagely as they did last year.
- November 4th, Mario Williams returns to Texas. I can't say I'll much care. I'm regretting decision to make note of it.
- Pats games are early this year. If the Bills are going to make a run at the division, the Pats will be the team to beat. And the Bills will have to get it done early in the season.
- Late season games against last season's worst from the NFC West. The inverse of this is the early season game against the Niners right on the heels of the first Pats game. Could realistically be looking at a 3-4 start but still with a good chance at a winning record.
- We do get a nationally televised on the TVs of those wealthy enough to get the NFL Network. Or DirecTV. Either way, that'll be a night to hit the bar for me. I'd say Yachtsman's couch except I am tiring of getting routinely violated by his pooch.
8:39 - I had a lot more thoughts than I expected.
8:40 - David Wright is up, still looking for his first hit. One out in the top of the 5th. Still 6-2. Kevin Burkhardt is talking so I may be three minutes away from dying as a result of bleeding from my ears.
8:42 - Wright got his single.
8:43 - Ike walks. He and Wright on 1st and 2nd, respectively.
8:44 - Don't worry guys! Jason Bay is up.
Tremendous...ly bad at the plate.
8:46 - Bay strikes out. I am SHOCKED.
8:48 - Duda makes it two in a row. This is turning into one of those nights.
8:51 - Bottom of 5th. Chipper Jones is up. Gary and Ron are talking about Tim Lincecum looking mortal. I honestly haven't been impressed with him since his days of middle school ball.
8:48 - Duda makes it two in a row. This is turning into one of those nights.
8:51 - Bottom of 5th. Chipper Jones is up. Gary and Ron are talking about Tim Lincecum looking mortal. I honestly haven't been impressed with him since his days of middle school ball.
Easy joke.
8:59 - Braves tack on two and push the lead back to six. I wasn't really paying attention because I spent five minutes trying to find the name of the team Mitch Kramer beat so it could make my joke more obscure.
Taking a break for a bit while Scizz hops on Weebly to edit a post about the Charlotte Bobcats. You heard me right. Weird.
9:01 GO KNICKS!!!! (This is the Scizz stopping by)
9:22 - Are the Knicks playing tonight? Delightful. They're currently douching all over Boston. Speaking of racists!
I'm gonna add in the entries I wrote on Microsoft Word. More of the same from the Mets...
9:05 – The Mets get their 7th hit.
9:06 – Delgado walks the next batter and there are two on with one out in the top of the 6th. Looks like Delgado is done for the night.
9:07 – The scratch-off lotto advertisement with a room full of ESL students is a pleasant continuation of the racism of the evening. I may just listen to archives of Rush Limbaugh from the day after MLK Day. Gotta figure he was dropping some gems that day. Or, if I’m really in a bind, I could just call Tim Thomas and mention something about my cousin not getting into college because of affirmative action. I bet that conversation ends really well.
9:10 – Hearing Gary talk about the Mets “threatening” is not what I needed right now. This gigantic beer has long ago turned into a second, smaller one, and I am flirting with a rage storm.
9:11 – Mets now have runners at 1st and 3rd, with the force out at 2nd for the 2nd out of the inning. Murph up and looking to get at least a run.
9:12 – Murphy slices one hot into Chipper’s glove at 3rd, but Jones can’t handle it and Murphy is awarded with the hit. Nieuwenhuis gets the run and David Wright up with runners at 1st and 2nd. 8-3 Braves.
9:14 – Wright being backed off plate by “Unknown Braves Pitcher.”
9:15 – And Wright strikes out. These are looking more like the Mets I know and love and hate and loathe and adore.
9:16 – Scizz has now been on Weebly for at least ten minutes. I am getting increasingly worried that the three people reading this live blog may be freaking out that I haven’t updated in so long. HOW WILL THEY KNOW WHAT TO THINK IF I’M NOT TELLING THEM?? #TBNLogic
9:25 - Top of the 7th. Finally this game is picking up the pace. I really chose a great one for my maiden voyage of live blogging this season. Hooray me.
9:26 - The cohesion of Weebly and my internet connection is non-existent this evening. I am going to start doing these from the Starbucks down the street, relying on updated box scores on my phone. I'm really pumped about the money I waste every month here in NYC.
9:31 - Queens car commercials are just about the worst.
9:32 - More racist chanting from Hotlanta. Braves still up 8-3. Bottom of the 7th.
9:35 - I've finally switched to the Knicks game, relegating the Mets to the picture-in-picture so that I can retain credibility as a universally-respected Mets pundit. Commercial with Lebron comes on. He's lucky that was a spot for a children's charity, otherwise I'd be calling him a gutless, self-centered choke artist. Dodged that bullet, Bron Bron.
Taking a break for a bit while Scizz hops on Weebly to edit a post about the Charlotte Bobcats. You heard me right. Weird.
9:01 GO KNICKS!!!! (This is the Scizz stopping by)
9:22 - Are the Knicks playing tonight? Delightful. They're currently douching all over Boston. Speaking of racists!
I'm gonna add in the entries I wrote on Microsoft Word. More of the same from the Mets...
9:05 – The Mets get their 7th hit.
9:06 – Delgado walks the next batter and there are two on with one out in the top of the 6th. Looks like Delgado is done for the night.
9:07 – The scratch-off lotto advertisement with a room full of ESL students is a pleasant continuation of the racism of the evening. I may just listen to archives of Rush Limbaugh from the day after MLK Day. Gotta figure he was dropping some gems that day. Or, if I’m really in a bind, I could just call Tim Thomas and mention something about my cousin not getting into college because of affirmative action. I bet that conversation ends really well.
9:10 – Hearing Gary talk about the Mets “threatening” is not what I needed right now. This gigantic beer has long ago turned into a second, smaller one, and I am flirting with a rage storm.
9:11 – Mets now have runners at 1st and 3rd, with the force out at 2nd for the 2nd out of the inning. Murph up and looking to get at least a run.
9:12 – Murphy slices one hot into Chipper’s glove at 3rd, but Jones can’t handle it and Murphy is awarded with the hit. Nieuwenhuis gets the run and David Wright up with runners at 1st and 2nd. 8-3 Braves.
9:14 – Wright being backed off plate by “Unknown Braves Pitcher.”
9:15 – And Wright strikes out. These are looking more like the Mets I know and love and hate and loathe and adore.
9:16 – Scizz has now been on Weebly for at least ten minutes. I am getting increasingly worried that the three people reading this live blog may be freaking out that I haven’t updated in so long. HOW WILL THEY KNOW WHAT TO THINK IF I’M NOT TELLING THEM?? #TBNLogic
9:25 - Top of the 7th. Finally this game is picking up the pace. I really chose a great one for my maiden voyage of live blogging this season. Hooray me.
9:26 - The cohesion of Weebly and my internet connection is non-existent this evening. I am going to start doing these from the Starbucks down the street, relying on updated box scores on my phone. I'm really pumped about the money I waste every month here in NYC.
9:31 - Queens car commercials are just about the worst.
9:32 - More racist chanting from Hotlanta. Braves still up 8-3. Bottom of the 7th.
9:35 - I've finally switched to the Knicks game, relegating the Mets to the picture-in-picture so that I can retain credibility as a universally-respected Mets pundit. Commercial with Lebron comes on. He's lucky that was a spot for a children's charity, otherwise I'd be calling him a gutless, self-centered choke artist. Dodged that bullet, Bron Bron.
Pimp my championship ring-less hand.
9:40 - The Knicks are up 19, making this game only marginally more exciting than the Mets game.
9:41 - Mets are back up so they take over the main picture on the screen. I am reminding myself that this will put the Mets to 4-1 against the Braves this season, so there's no reason for me to abandon the marginally good feelings about this team through 2 weeks.
9:45 - 2 outs in the bottom of the 8th, as Nieuwenhuis fails to make contact. I'm at the point where I'm not looking up the spelling of his name anymore, but I'm also confident I'm getting it wrong. I figure misspellings make me seem lovably unthreatening and therefore immune to real criticism. At least that's why Scizz claims he misspells words all the time.
9:47 - If Scizz were here he'd make sure to mention "HEY FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" so I figured I'd save him the trouble.
9:48 - both channels showing ads, with DeNiro and Shaq starring in the respective spots. Two behemoths of the industry, folks.
9:41 - Mets are back up so they take over the main picture on the screen. I am reminding myself that this will put the Mets to 4-1 against the Braves this season, so there's no reason for me to abandon the marginally good feelings about this team through 2 weeks.
9:45 - 2 outs in the bottom of the 8th, as Nieuwenhuis fails to make contact. I'm at the point where I'm not looking up the spelling of his name anymore, but I'm also confident I'm getting it wrong. I figure misspellings make me seem lovably unthreatening and therefore immune to real criticism. At least that's why Scizz claims he misspells words all the time.
9:47 - If Scizz were here he'd make sure to mention "HEY FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" so I figured I'd save him the trouble.
9:48 - both channels showing ads, with DeNiro and Shaq starring in the respective spots. Two behemoths of the industry, folks.
9:51 - 9-3 Braves on a solo shot by... who the fuck cares? Good god, surely not me.
9:53 - That second inning really made this game last a lot longer than it should have. It's pretty much my bed time, my wife is afraid of me because I may have ebola (long story involving monkeys... you don't want to know) and I am trying to get to work by 7:30 tomorrow morning to make up for distinct possibility that I wasted a portion of the afternoon watching Champions League semifinals.
9:58 - The Knicks remain in control, but Boston is certainly chipping away at the lead, which is now just 10.
9:59 - I've officially deemed my bed time to be 10:15, at which point I will lay in our guest room, far from my risk and disease-averse wife, and retweet Jose Canseco's timeline from today. I hear he's an expert on global warming.
10:01 - Mets up for last licks. 2 outs with D Wright back up. I predict a ten run homer, Rock & Jock style. I think you get the extra runs for banking it off of Jenny McCarthy's cleavage.
10:02 - Wright gets his second hit in a meaningless spot.
10:03 - For all the griping I've done about Santana's run support over the past few years, tonight was just as much his fault as anyone's. Ike just grounded out, ending the game and leaving the Mets with 9 hits and only 3 runs. That ratio has been very different at times this season, so - again - I'm not too down on what happened tonight.
10:05 - shutting down shop for the evening. Not sure what I accomplished other than (1) affirming my disdain for racist team names, (2) giving you poorly thought-out gut reactions to a schedule of a football team that will likely only win 4 games next year and (3) forcing myself to watch another game of arguably meaningless baseball.
The Mets look to take the rubber match tomorrow afternoon and hopefully maintain their good position in the NL East. Until then, for no reason in particular....
9:53 - That second inning really made this game last a lot longer than it should have. It's pretty much my bed time, my wife is afraid of me because I may have ebola (long story involving monkeys... you don't want to know) and I am trying to get to work by 7:30 tomorrow morning to make up for distinct possibility that I wasted a portion of the afternoon watching Champions League semifinals.
9:58 - The Knicks remain in control, but Boston is certainly chipping away at the lead, which is now just 10.
9:59 - I've officially deemed my bed time to be 10:15, at which point I will lay in our guest room, far from my risk and disease-averse wife, and retweet Jose Canseco's timeline from today. I hear he's an expert on global warming.
10:01 - Mets up for last licks. 2 outs with D Wright back up. I predict a ten run homer, Rock & Jock style. I think you get the extra runs for banking it off of Jenny McCarthy's cleavage.
10:02 - Wright gets his second hit in a meaningless spot.
10:03 - For all the griping I've done about Santana's run support over the past few years, tonight was just as much his fault as anyone's. Ike just grounded out, ending the game and leaving the Mets with 9 hits and only 3 runs. That ratio has been very different at times this season, so - again - I'm not too down on what happened tonight.
10:05 - shutting down shop for the evening. Not sure what I accomplished other than (1) affirming my disdain for racist team names, (2) giving you poorly thought-out gut reactions to a schedule of a football team that will likely only win 4 games next year and (3) forcing myself to watch another game of arguably meaningless baseball.
The Mets look to take the rubber match tomorrow afternoon and hopefully maintain their good position in the NL East. Until then, for no reason in particular....
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