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MEGA HAPPY POST-DRAFT JUBILEE

5/2/2016

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some asshole imagery for assholes
The Barrister

We did it! Bravely stepping forward, pushing our shared trepidation to the side, we did the thankless task of patiently watching time tick by and bring the delightful reward of the NFL's Draft Weekend. We boldly decried mocks and anxiously refreshed twitter for takes upon takes. We waited for Tim Graham to say something so we could disagree. We stored ragey thoughts in drafts, just in case. 

And now? Well, now, we wait some more, except with new faces to ponder and gifs to absorb. So that's, I guess, better. Or something. 

After all, the NFL draft, and the Buffalo Bills' participation in it, is little more than a benchmark for the offseason clock, itself only significant as a precursor to the season, itself only significant as a precursor to mathematical elimination and water cooler strife. 

Oh, to live in these days. 

Even so, the draft looks to be a good one, which is definitely not something Bills fans have thought before, so I'm assured it is true this time.
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Bills Pick #1: Shaq Lawson

Immediate need, immediate impact if the scouting reports and overwhelming highlights are to be believed. Where the Bills were picking, it's the kind of pick that qualifies both as "about as much as we could hope for in the First Round" and "oh thank God these assholes didn't do anything crazy." That second thing cannot be overstated. 

Not going QB here is great, also. A really weird year for QBs, the smokescreen that One Bills Drive sent up about wanting to go that route early was blessedly just that. At that point in the draft, the only guy left of much quality was Paxton Lynch and it would have been insane to pick him at 19. He's off to Denver where I can only assume he will be financing a legal grow and/or dispensary operation for his housemates from Memphis. God bless him.

Also, Lawson is a Clemson guy and I like Clemson guys, which is unsurprising since the Bills are chock full of Tigers and I am dumb for the Buffalo Bills. 
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I find comfort in my thoughts

Bills Pick #2: Reggie Ragland

This is where the Bills got a little weird with their valuation of the player - one second round pick and a pair of fourths (this year and next) - but it's hard to argue with who they spent it on (<cough> EJ! <cough>). The pessimist in me looks at medical issues with these first two picks and is bracing himself for inevitable sadness, but that's a thought to let consume me another day. The Bills got some surprisingly available value for Ragland at 41 - one of three Crimson Tide players expected to go in the First Round, all of which had to wait for Friday Night - and grabbed another guy who can fill an immediate vacancy in a defense in desperate need of (at least a decent) reboot.


Bills Pick #3: Adolphus Washington


It happens early every year, but this is the point where I start wondering "should I watch more college football, I mean, who the fuck is this guy?" Unrelated Point of Order: Adolphus is a great fucking name. That will buy this guy at least 20 games in my good graces. Probably more. 

Another pick on the defensive side of the ball? Good. They were dreadful last year. Any additions, be they day 1 starters or depth chart additions, are gravy in my black and white and gravy view of the football world. 

Also, this guy got picked up for trying to score a hooker in COLUMBUS, OHIO. I'm not sure if I've ever heard a funnier thing that potentially brings a player's draft stock down (actually, I have because Laremy Tunsil is the fucking GOAT), but I'm sure it's the saddest. Imagining the working women of Columbus, I can only assume they're bedecked in #Crew96 workman's helmets and smell of motor oil. 


Bills Pick #4: Cardale Jones

Man, this guy cannot throw the ball and will definitely make us ache for Erik Rodriguez Manuel, Jr. almost immediately in the event Cardale ever needs to play. Has there ever been a less impressive National Champion? I mean, aside from Joakim Noah oh god I hope he sees this, what a bitch. 

The upside to Jones, apart from the fact that we can reasonably expect almost nothing from the guy football-wise (unless we just want to watch him run straight through linebackers, which we most certainly do), is that he's a hilarious gem of a human, a fact affirmed and explained through the work of Peter Berkes, a man himself more hilarious and gem-y than you or I. 

Also, the Bills should draft a QB every. fucking. year. until they make it to the playoffs. That's not hyperbole. Just fucking do it, Doug.


​Bills Pick #5: Jonathan Williams


More Buffalo WILLIAMS jokes. The best kinds of jokes. Vomit. 
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Bills Pick #6: Kolby Listenbee

I'm honestly struggling to figure out which is bothering me more - that last name or the fact his parents misspelled Colby. If you want to talk about millenials and the "me generation," the first place to start is with names and thus with stupid fucking parents and their stupid fucking need to birth out and raise special little snowflakes. Stop giving your kids shit ass names crafted out of your shit ass brains. Listen, B, you watch CBS four nights a week, have single-handedly supported QVC with your impulsive tendencies, chain smoke menthols and sell weird nature scene tshirts on your spreadshirt page. 

You should not be allowed to make up new names when you can't even be bothered to make up new reasons your doctor can't be trusted and your cholesterol isn't actually a problem.

But, whatever, I'm sure Kolby is a great kid. He's fast and at least he's not a kicker, though with that name you sure tried your best, Ma Dukes. 


Bills Pick #7: Kevon Seymour

Kevon? See above. I hate everything. Whatever. This kid is pretty fast, too. And the "Feed me, Seymour" tshirts at 26shirts [dot] com will be a nice addition to our cache of third-party personal sporps branding.
That track really speaks to me at times like this. 

Anyway, that's the draft. The Berls have been graded pretty highly across the internets for last week's effort, so that's cool. Better that than watch our front office be an unqualified disaster over the course of this particular offseason weekend. 

Alas, the unqualified disaster will come later this year. Can't wait. 
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YOUR MOCK DRAFT SUCKS BALLS AND MINE DOES TOO BUT FUCK YOU THIS ISN’T MY JOB SO GO EAT POO

4/24/2013

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These 4-picture collages are quickly becoming my thing. And that title was literally the last thing I wrote. I didn’t even mean it to rhyme. Until I included fuck you. Then needed something to rhyme with it. 

ANYWAYS… Don’t get me wrong - I loves me some mock drafts. But let’s face it - it’s a crap shoot and nobody knows a fuck about fuckin’ nothin’. But I wonder who knows the least nothing... rrr most nothing... -achm- I wonder who sucks the most at it?!

Well, in the words of that creepy owl from the Tootsie Pop commercials, LEEEET’S FIIIIIND OOOUUUT!

I employ a grizzly monster the Westerners call “statistics.” It’s actually really great. You just throw some numbers together and then when the simpletons disagree with you, you just say “hey, the numbers never lie.” They get red in the face and say something like “whatever, I mean, I just feel like...” and then you laugh inside a deep, bellowing laugh that echoes across your inner kingdom because you know you’ve won. So finish your 168x IPA kick off your oxfords, and throw on an episode of Workaholics because you’re a nasty prick and that’s what nasty pricks seem to like these days.

Whoa, what the hell happened? Oh yeah, I was going to write about sports. Anyway, so here’s what I did: I basically just compared where each mocker had each player going with where the player actually went for 2012. And I figured, while I was at it, I could see which positions they sucked the most at projecting. And what teams reached the most for players! And maybe some other nerdy shit!!!

But before I get into the numbers, I think a furious monologue is in order:

Dear mock drafters: GO FUCK YOUR FUCKING SELVES. Seriously. Basically every mock draft I looked at got me progressively more bloodthirsty.

- Kiper/McShay: jesus christ. I get that ESPN has to push it’s Insider subscription bullshit, and that if I can just pull up your mock drafts with a simple Google search, maybe I won’t pay whatever silly, delusional, self-aggrandizing price ESPN demands for Insider, but cccoooommeee ooonnnnn! I challenge any of you to go out and find me Kiper/McShay’s full mock drafts on the internet for free. In the end, I had to grab Bleacher Report’s evaluation of the Kiper/McShay first round mocks. Shit’s wizzeak.

- Basically everybody else: you’re only going to mock the first round? Seriously? There’s 32 picks in the first round. I looked at 13 mock drafts. Thirteen. Collectively, those 13 mocks had a grand total of 45 different names. 20 players were in every single 1st round mock (to the credit of the mockers, those players were all taken in the 1st), and 28 players were in at least 10 of the 13 mocks. My point? YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING!! You’re just regurgitating the names that all your fellow pundits are throwing out there in a slightly different order. That does nothing for me. Oh, you guessed at a few trades in your mock? WOW.  Props to Joe Buscaglia and Walterfootball.com for going well beyond the first round and talking about the prospects and the team needs. Their mocks are enjoyable. The rest that I looked at are just the same cookie cutter mainstream media bullshit that I like to think my generation is slowly beginning to reject. Have a little pride and put some actual human thought into the shit you publish for millions.

Soooo, because of how lazy and incompetent all these mockers were, I couldn’t get into the really fun nerdy shit like which teams reached the most for players. But I can give you the best and worst first round mockers of 2012. Here you go:
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Whew. All that anticipation. How does it feel to know that Don Banks is your go-to guy for mock drafts? But fuck that, WGR’s own Joe Buscaglia is my guy. The kid killed it. 

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For the record, there’s a metric ton of mock drafts out there, and I’ll wager that a lot of them are really high quality. But I grabbed the ones that came out on the top of Google searches because these are the ones most people look at and they suck soooo hard.

On that note: MY 2013 MOCK DRAFT!!!

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The Wire's 2011 NFL Draft Day Fallout: Part Two

5/4/2011

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The Wire

4 (122) - OT Chris Hairston, Clemson
With their second pick in the fourth round, the Bills selected arguably the last remaining higher-end prospect available in the draft.  Hairston is big, long, athletic, and most importantly has quick feet for an OT weighing in at 325+ lbs.  He also had a very impressive Wonderlic score.  Hairston played LT at Clemson, but will be part of the Bills' competition/revolving door at RT, which is apparently occupied by none other than Erik Pears (?).  If Hairston develops his technique and demonstrates better ability in space against edge rushers, he could see significant time as a rookie.  Dedication in the weight room is also of utmost importance to curtail his sloppy spare tire
Grade:  B    


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5 (133) - RB Johnny White, North Carolina
North Carolina's Pro Day was a regular "Who's Who" of NFL general managers, scouts, and coaches.  Everyone was there including a few teams' entire coaching staffs.  The Bills were represented by GM Nix, the newly fired Tom Modrak, and two scouts.  In the end, the Bills evaluated 17 UNC prospects and in the fifth round of the draft, officially took their second.  White converted from WR to RB last season when UNC's starting RB Shaun Draughn was injured.  He finished with 800 yards rushing and would have surpassed the 1,000 yard mark if not for a minor injury.  It should come as a relief to Bills fans that White is a hard-nosed, down-the-hill, hit-the-hole type runner.  There is no hesitation in his game.  He plays bigger than his size and given his experience at wideout, can also catch passes out of the backfield.  Moreover, Bills scouts spoke extremely highly of his personality and character.  If White improves his blocking ability, he may see time as a third down specialist.  He will also contribute significantly on special teams, possibly as a gunner, which separates him from the ilk of Xavier Omon.  At this point in the draft, the Bills had bigger needs, i.e. LB, TE, but a couple of their picks each year are dedicated to special teams.  This may have been one of them. 
Grade:  C+  



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6 (169) - ILB Chris White - Mississippi St.
White is another player that made an impression on Bills coaches at the Senior Bowl.  He was a JUCO transfer who progressed significantly during his senior season at MSU.  Bills scouts describe him as a tough, rugged ILB who has demonstrated the ability to run with TEs and thus allows them positional flexibility.  He is an instinctive player and excels at diagnosing run plays immediately upon the snap of the ball.  At 246 lbs, the Bills continue to add size to the middle of their defense.  However, White will always be a sub-par athlete and lacks the speed and closing burst to contribute on a consistent basis.  Nevertheless, the Bills added another special teams piece and needed depth at LB.
Grade:  C-



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7 (206) - CB Justin Rogers, Richmond

Rogers was an undersized defensive back even at the FCS level.  He struggles to wrap up ball carriers to the point of whiffing on occasion.  He also lacks speed and explosion and thus will never match up in man coverage in the NFL.  The Bills were most likely enticed by his great leaping ability, short area quickness, and ability to jump routes underneath.  For these reasons, he has the potential to contribute in zone sub-packages.
Grade:  D





7 (245) - NT Michael Jasper, Bethel (TN)
Jasper has been a pet project for Bills scouts for almost a year now.  At his peak, Jasper weighed in at 448 lbs with an average playing weight of 435 lbs.  At the Bills request, Jasper trimmed down to a sleek 378 over the past four months.  As reward, Jasper received a draft flyer from the Bills with their final pick.  Jasper began his collegiate career as a NT in the 3-4 scheme but played OG the past two seasons at Bethel.  The Bills have indicated he will compete at NT for them.  Any in-depth analysis of Jasper's game is, in fact, over-analysis.  He's mammoth.  He takes on blockers.  Period.  Although fans should check out the YouTube video that documents Jasper's workout; he's impressively nimble on his feet.  The video could rival the hype of John Wendling's high jump clip, although hopefully Jasper sticks around longer to make it worth the entertainment.  With a late seventh round compensatory pick, the Bills might as well draft a freak.
Grade:  B+ 

How much does Jasper look like Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry of the WWE? Nutty!  Anyways, a huge thanks goes out to The Wire for this awesome analysis of the Buffalo Bills 2011 draft class.  Well done big guy.  Let's just hope this round of newbies doesn't end up in the Scizz's EPIC FAIL draft series.  

A Nate Dogg video? Don't mind if I do. REGULATOOOOOOOOOORS! MOUNT UP!
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The Wire's 2011 NFL Draft Day Fallout: Part One

5/3/2011

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DGWU Crew would like to welcome its newest guest contributor, The Wire. He is a proud ex-pat of WNY who now resides in New Haven, CT, so very close to us in NYC.  A childhood friend of the Scizz, The Wire brings a college football/draft expertise like no one else. The analysis is a little late to the party, but totally worth the wait.  Trust me. You will get more info from the first paragraph of this post on the Buffalo Bills' selections than anything else the rest of the DGWU Crew has said....combined.  While we were Sabres-obsessed, he was reading every draft guide known to man. So let us welcome The Wire with open arms in a sexual chocolate style bear-hug (kudos to the podcast listeners who got that joke).
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The Wire

1 (3) - DL Marcell Dareus, Alabama
Presuming Auburn QB Cam Newton would be off the board to Carolina, the Bills were set to pick whichever impact front-seven defender Denver passed on; Dareus or Texas A&M pass-rushing specialist Von Miller.  With Miller selected at #2 overall, Dareus was the logical, prudent choice and consistent with the philosophy touted by GM Buddy Nix that the Bills would select the best players available on their board at positions of need.  Dareus was a consensus top 3 prospect and NFLN's Mike Mayock's and ESPN's Todd McShay's top player overall.  Dareus is big, powerful, and surprisingly athletic; an ideal fit as a zero- or five-technique in the 3-4 scheme and also capable of playing on the guard or center in the 4-3.  He immediately legitimates the Bills' defensive line next to Kyle Williams and allows last year's draft picks Torrell Troup and Alex Carrington further time to develop.  Any concerns about Dareus' weight are off-set by his superior character and work ethic. 
Grade:  A

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Yeah, that's 2010 NFL Rookie of the Year Sam Bradford writhing in pain. Good on ya' Aaron.

2 (34) - CB Aaron Williams, TexasIt seems the Bills can't help but select a defensive back (or two or three) in every draft year.  Whether that be due to the nature of the position or a crippling obsession with Tom Brady, is for another debate.  At 6'0" 205, Williams is a big, physical, aggressive CB also capable of playing free safety.  His most useful attribute is the ability to play on both the outside wideout as well as on the slot receiver.  As a rookie, depending on McGee's health and McKelvin's general incompetence, Williams could see time as either a starting CB or as an impact #3 in the Bills' nickel package.  In effect, with their top two draft picks, the Bills selected two players who can start at five different positions.  Williams' primary weakness is straight-line speed as he may not be able to keep up with faster wideouts 30 yards downfield.  No matter, his versatility and strength are key, and with the Bills possibly losing Donte Whitner, Drayton Florence, and Ashton Youboty in free agency, the secondary had become a major need mostly overlooked by fans.
Grade:  B+


3 (68) - ILB Kelvin Sheppard, LSU
The Bills' defensive coaches had the pleasure of working with Sheppard at the Senior Bowl, which was followed-up by a glowing visit to One Bills Drive.  From that point forward, many fans had this marriage pegged.  Sheppard is a big, strong, and cerebral inside LB who made all the defensive play calls at LSU.  He was considered their emotional leader.  Sheppard, who has been compared to former Bill London Fletcher, is a good insurance policy for pending free agent Paul Posluszny.  If Posluszny re-signs in Buffalo, which he has indicated he will, Sheppard should have little trouble beating out deteriorating Andra Davis for the other starting inside spot.  In pre-draft reviews, many analysts were concerned with Sheppard's speed from sideline to sideline.  However, Bills' coaches stated that Sheppard, at 250 lbs, performed better in this regard at the Senior Bowl than he had on previous game tape.  Considering value and need, this was the Bills' best pick of the draft.
Grade:  A

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As long as he isn't celebrating a tackle 40 yards downfield after getting torched, then this is acceptable.

4 (100) - S Da'Norris Searcy, North Carolina
The Bills kept with the theme of defensive versatility with the selection of Searcy, who is capable of playing either strong or free safety.  At 5'11" 225, Searcy is a big safety with fluid hips who appears to play faster than his clocked dash times (4.5s).  Oddly, pre-draft reviews on Searcy were mixed; some labeling him as tough and physical against the run and others documenting an apparent reluctance to engage with ballcarriers.  Most significantly, Bills coaches and scouts have complimented his willingness to get in the box against the run, and his potential to contribute as an emergency kick returner.  Of all North Carolina players involved in last year's academic scandal, Searcy's role has been downplayed, suggesting that administration and bureaucracy, rather than anything substantive actually led to his brief suspension.         
Grade:  B-  


Good stuff, right?  Join us tomorrow for Part TWO of The Wire's 2011 NFL draft day fallout, in which he breaks down Buffalo's late round picks, including a brand-new DGWU favorite (please refer to earlier Sexual Chocolate joke).  What's the best part about having The Wire on board? His college football knowledge you say?  Naw. Excuses to play videos like the one below.
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The DGWU CrapTastiCast Episode #5: The Old Man Zombie Cast

5/2/2011

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This is exactly how we all felt Sunday morning while recording episode #5

Welcome everyone to episode number FIVE of the DGWU CrapTastiCast.  Despite all of us either being sick, having allergy attacks, or being hungover we pulled together on a bright Sunday morning to record for your listening pleasure.  With our faces burning off, we sniffled and thriller danced our way our way through many Buffalo related sports topics including the sadness of the Sabres game 7 loss, the bright future of the young players, another epic Pegula/Ted Black press conference, the end of the Connolly era, the thrill of meeting our hero Andre Reed, half-assed Buffalo Bills draft analysis, FC Buffalo,  and much, much more!  Megsie jumps in for some swiss tour guide commentary and Mondee never made it off the couch, but we get along just fine.  Miss ya big guy!  As always you can download the podcast throughiTUNES and Libsyn (please subscribe if you haven't already). 
The DGWU CrapTastiCast

You can stream our sexy, sophisticated, and nerdiculous voices right below too! Enjoy our zombified-selves!
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The Intimidating Chameleon, F-U Whitner, and the Little LB that Could

4/30/2011

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The three stooges and some huge asian guy


The Scizz

Let's have some draft analysis, shall we? I'll start by making one thing clear.  Due to the Sabres playoff run I have never been less prepared going into a draft.  I normally have a minimum of three draft guides in my work-bag and bathroom stand (where most of the got read) and I know every player available.  How obscure? When Buffalo picked Xavier Omon a few years ago out of Northwest Missouri State, I actually knew who he was and that one of his strengths was his up-hill running ability. I'm not kidding. Draft day has been a holiday of mine since college.  I use to load up on beers and park myself in front of the TV for the entire thing. That actually lead to me blacked out and with a concussion after the 2003 draft, but that is a story for another day.

This year I wasn't totally lost, but nowhere near as prepared as usually.  I knew the basics. Who the top few prospects, who the best available QB's were, and most importantly that there were no top-rated athletic RB's that Chan and Buddy would reach for.  So please forgive me for my lack of accurate analysis here today. I still need to take a crack at it.
Please check out that video of Marcell Dareus above. Fantastic charisma.  Before the draft I was sure Von Miller was going to be the guy. Yes, I was enamored by Cam Newton's athleticism (and I'm still confused on what are future plans for QB are), but in know way did I think that Denver would pass on this beast.  When Goodell announced Miller to Denver, I was fired up.  And then Buffalo did something they usually don't do.  They didn't reach.  The brought in a game-changing D-lineman that is going to look phenomenal next to our sole Pro Bowler Kyle Williams.  He's a chameleon baby and he intimidated management to select him. I love it. Only time will tell how good Dareus will actual be, but the future of the D-line looks bright that big smile and Alabama charm disrupting backfields. Welcome to Buffalo Dareus
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Aaron Ross, anyone?
Sitting with hundreds of Bills fans Thursday night, it was very apparent nobody wanted a defensive back with the first pick.  Just the idea of Patrick Peterson going to Buffalo had fans dropping angry rants before the game. At first I was totally inclined to agree with this, but after stepping back to think about it, it would not have been that bad.  Many people still believe we have a strong secondary but look at it; McGee is always hurt, Leodis is obviously not turning out to be a 1st round corner, Florence may leave in free agency, and Corner and Youbuty are nothing more than dime backs. At safety, I like Byrd, Scott, and Wilson, but fuck that d-bag Whitner.  Stop celebrating 37 yards downfield after making a tackle. 

So when Buffalo selected Aaron Williams yesterday I got excited for thee reasons. 1. He was projected to go as high as mid-1st round and depending on who you talked to he was a top-3 DB.  2. Everything I read about him says how well-rounded he is and how complete his game is. I can't remember the last time Buffalo drafted a guy that scouts labeled with no glaring weaknesses.  Oh wait, we did in the first round.  3. This may be the final F-U to Donte Whitner.  Williams can also play free safety and could be a great fit to takeover that role for the Bills. Please Lord let that happen and my next jersey purchase is Aaron Williams. Sing it with me to Donte everyone....Fuck You! OOO-OO-OO!!  I'm mature.
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I don't know very much about Kelvin Sheppard.  He is definitely no little like I mentioned in the title of the post, however the way his draft stock has risen shows me his perseverance.  According to a friend of mine (great source, huh?) in early draft reports Kelvin was projected 5th or 6th round, but after LSU pro-day and the combine it appears his stock rose. All of a sudden he was a 4th round pick.  But Buffalo fell in love with him at the Senior Bowl (which the staff coached) and he became our 3rd pick.  Some may call it a reach but according to DGWU future draft expert "The Agent", fnas have been calling for this pick on Bills message boards for months.  The smart message boards, not the dumb ones. I have no idea what that means.

What I do know is the Bills chose players the DGWU crew have been calling for them to do for years. DEFENSE DEFENSE DEFENSE!  Yes, we need a QB, TE, and the offensive line still needs plenty of work, but every facet of the D needs it too.  I for one look forward to seeing Mr. Dareus, Williams, and Sheppard in action soon. Enjoy the draft today folks and check back later today or Sunday for some more updates.  GO BILLS!
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The DGWU Not-So-Special 2011 NFL Draft Preview

4/28/2011

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Incredible Bulk or Aaron Maybin? You decide the future!
Not too much to talk about really.  Due to the Sabres incredible run, we here at DGWU have totally fell off the wagon in paying attention to the draft. The only thing that I've really been able to talk about is the lack of skill the Bills have shown in drafting in my EPIC FAIL series.  You can zip over to the right of the page under tags and click on "epic fail" in order to check them out and realize the silliness of recent drafts.. HOWEVER, my hopes are high this year.  Buddy Nix looks like he may have finally made some proper selections (although Spiller still drives me crazy) and this year they have a prime spot by picking 3rd overall.

Almost everything I have read and seen lately has the Bills taking OLD Von Miller 3rd overall.  I'm torn on this because I absolutely love Cam Newton's athletic ability, but I recently heard "draft expert" Mel Kiper say that Von can contribute immediately due to his skill in pass rushing and coverage.  Also his name is so close to legendary announcer Van Miller that maybe it's a sign. Who knows, I'm an idiot..  There are also rumors the Bills like QB Christian Ponder in the second round and...Wow.  Just re-read everything I wrote. Worst. Draft. Preview. Ever. But what do you expect with the amount of Sabres obsession and alcohol consumption that we have all put in our systems lately? Check out Joe's draft coverage over Buffalowins for some true intelligence. He has put together some great posts and interviews leading up to the big day.

You know what is insanely crazy? The Yachtsman and I going to meet and hang out with Andre Reed tonight for the first round of the draft tonight. BOOM! Mr. Reed is in town to announce the Bills 2ns round pick tomorrow at Radio City, so he contacted Matt over at the New York City Buffalo Bills Backers and said he wanted to watch at a Bills bar with the fans. Incredible.  You can view the draft party e-mails here and here. Also check out Andre on twitter @Andre_Reed83.  So come join the DGWU crew and Andre friggin' Reed at McFadden's on 42nd and 2nd in NYC for the 10th annual draft party. Cheep beer, free wings, NFL draft, and ANDRE REED!!! What else do you need?? Cam Newton, maybe? O.K., I'll stop.
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EPIC FAIL PART 2 Continued - Emotionally Invested

3/25/2011

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Why do the players I like always let me down? Also, I am MEGA constipated right now.
The Scizz

Apologies to anyone who actually checked the blog last weekend looking for my addendum to my 2007 draft class anaylsis (Ha).  I truly sat down to type it up Saturday afternoon, but quickly realized I had way to much to say about the top two picks from this specific draft class, and that entire draft in general.  I started remembering a lot about the actual day, as well as my huge expectations and love for both of these players. It was no longer a quick post, but becoming a full blown column, so I figured I would save it for today. Before I get into it too much, a little about the day itself.

April 28th, 2007. McFadden's Sports Bar in New York City. 1 p.m.  This was before the NFL realized they could make even more $$$ by moving the opening rounds of the draft into primetime, thus ruining what was always a fantastic day of sports talk with friends and heavy drinking over several hours.  I met up with several friends and fellow Bills' fans that day, but arrived with my good friend TomDogg at about Noon in order to get a spot by the bar.  It was going to be a good day.

The beer started flowing immediately, and as JaMarcus Russell walked to the podium, signaling another EPIC, EPIC, EPIC failure for the Oakland Raiders, I felt confident.  Buffalo was coming off a much improved 2006 season under new Coach Dick Jauron, and more importantly new GM Marv Levy.  The draft class from the year before appeared to have some solid sleepers (obviously I was wrong), and the available draftees of 2007 looked incredibly deep.  The bar was packed, and as a result of the draft itself taking place in NYC, people that were actually at Radio City started trickling in after their teams had selected.  TomDogg and I actually ended up hanging out with a couple of Green Bay Packers' and Arizona Cardinals' fans.  It was a joyous occasion for all.  In fact, before Buffalo ever selected, my favorite moment of the draft occurred.  But more on that later.  On to the heartbreak.

 
PictureHow's my Drivin'? Call 1-800-555-THUG
I loved this pick.  I don't care what anyone else says.  I knew he could be trouble, but everything about him football-wise was amazing.  He worked hard, played harder, and was actually thrilled to come to Buffalo.  I wanted Patrick Willis more than anyone else, but after San Fran snatched him up right before Buffalo's pick, this was my next favorite choice. And since Marv made the pick, I figured that the worries about his character issues were in the past.  Obviously that last part was incorrect, but everything Marshawn did on the field in his 3+ seasons with the Buffalo Bills made me happy.  Yes, he had his moments in 2009 where he thought he was an outside the tackles runner, but he eventually reverted back to his power running ways.  I could be wrong, but I don't think I ever questioned his heart or work ethic. 

The two headed Freddie Jackson-Marshawn backfield was solid.  At least this fan/writer/teacher/handsome sonuvabitch thinks so.  It could have worked long-term, I really think so.  However, the ridiculous drafting of C.J. Spiller ended that pairing before it ever had a chance to REALLY get started.  Here there was two players with very different styles and skills in the Bills' hands, and they dropped one for a lousy 4th round pick (which they will most likely fuck up) because "the best player available at the time of the draft" was an undersized specialty player who "could be" a "gamebreaker". I feel like Dr. Evil with all of these quotations, but for God's sake this STILL pisses me off.

Some of my favorite moments watching the games from Calico Jacks in NYC happened to be when Marshawn would bust a 15 yard run up the middle without any hole ever opening up, my friends and I flashing the BEAST MODE sign and going nuts. I know many people loved the Spiller pick originally, and just as many, if not more were fine with the Lynch trade to Seattle. but c'mon people.  Tell me you didn't miss Beast Mode even a little bit when you saw this run during the playoffs last year:

PictureIn theatres this summer: Marvel's THOR

Just as I was settling into loving that Marshwan selection, someone yells out from the bar "IT SAYS BUFFALO IS ON THE CLOCK!!!"  The place erupts in cheers.  Everyone in the building with any inkling of knowledge knew exactly what had just happened. The Bills had traded up to the 34th spot in order to select Penn State linebacker Paul Posluszny.  It was no secret that experts and fans alike had been predicting that Buffalo would make some sort of move to grab "Poz".

Originally thought to a mid-1st round selection, Poz slipped down the charts and Buffalo jumped at the chance to have a Shane Conlan clone.  Conlan anchored the Bills' defensive backfield through the 90's and hell, Poz even wore his jersey number at Penn State in his honor.  How could this go wrong?  It was a perfect fit.  I for one was even more excited because I had just started dating a girl who went to Penn State who was football obsessed, and this gave us a little common ground to enjoy games together.  In fact, one of the first gifts I ever bought her was a Poz jersey (and before you make fun of me for that, she loved it, and is still with me today.  So suck on that).

How has the pick turned out? A resounding meh.  I hate to say it, but Poz has been no better than a run-of-the-mill NFL linebacker.  That isn't necessarily a bad thing considering that so many players are out of the league within three years, but he has not lived up to the huge expectations that Bills fans, myself included set forth on him.  He also has not exactly been a player of great health. The first mistake was moving him to middle-linebacker in a poor 4-3 defense, but I could go on with that for another 2000 words. 

This upcoming season (if there is one), Poz will be a free-agent.  Although Buffalo has tendered him an offer, it may mean absolutely nothing if a new CBA is agreed upon.  What should Buffalo do?  I honestly don't have an answer.  Poz had a strong season in the new 3-4 defense, creating six turnovers (which was tied for the NFL lead) and was among the league leaders in tackles despite missing several games AGAIN with injury.  But Poz has yet to make a pro bowl, and last year was a contract year.

Picture
As you saw from the title of this post, I have been emotionally invested in both of these players.  From day one I was a huge supporter. I own a Poz jersey.  I own a Marshawn BEAST MODE t-shirt. I absolutely thought that these guys were the future of the team.  But alas, I have been let down again.  I'd like to say I'm still holding out for Poz to return and have a monster season that I always knew he was capable of, but that would be a lie.  I have honestly become quite indifferent about the entire situation (kind of like anything political in the U.S. at this present moment).

Which brings me to my most lasting memory from the 2007 draft. The Miami Dolphins were on the clock with the 9th pick overall.  They desperately needed a quarterback and Notre Dame star, Brady Quinn was still available.  In a bar with mostly Buffalo fans, everyone was almost certain that Quinn would get snatched up immediately, especially after the commisioner walked to the podium made with time still left on the clock.  What happened next was one of the best examples of unintentional comedy in the history of sports:
Ted Ginn Jr.  A guy that many draft experts might fall to the 2nd round.  Hilarious.  I wish I had video of McFaddens when that went down.  Tagliabue did not even get the "n's" in Ginn out before the bar erupted in laughter.  Amazing.  Even my friend TomDogg, who is a diehard Giants fan still considers this an amazing moment.  Then again, the Dolphins have made the playoffs in the last 10 years.  EPIC FAIL.
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EPIC FAIL - The Buffalo Bills Draft history since 2002 (Part 1 - 2006)

3/11/2011

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Picture
Cat = Buffalo GMs / Bird = Super Bowl
The Scizz

Alright, alright.  We've had soccer and basketball posts with veiled references to Buffalo this week, but enough is enough.  Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed both the Yachtsman's and Apologist's posts as much as the next guy, but now it's time for some more direct self-loathing.  With the NFL rookie combine wrapping up, I have decided to go directly to one of the main sources that has caused us all so much pain the last several years: the Buffalo Bills' drafts since 2002.  Now dissecting and examining every Bills' draft of the last 9 years would make for a very long blog post, as well as send me into a deep depression that may force me to run full speed into a brick wall, so I have decided to make this a series of posts.  Let's begin.
Picture
Mr. Bad Decison, Tom Donahoe

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Buffalo's Got Wood

4/29/2009

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The Scizz

Here at DGWUSports, we love us some Eric Wood. 

He started 49 consecutive games at Louisville, punishes D-Lineman, and if you followed our live NFL draft blog, you know he looks like a dear old friend of ours.  Except maybe replace "dear old", with "crazy ass".  Anyways, today there was a great read about him in the Buffalo News.  Enjoy you sexy, sexy readers you!

http://www.buffalonews.com/452/story/655016.html (dead link)

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