Dear God Why Us Sports
"You are a complete embarrassment to anyone legitimately trying to blog.
You're gonna ruin it for everyone else. Keep it up." - Mike Harrington, TBN
  • Blog
  • The Deeg Podcast Industries
  • Mission Statement
  • Contributors

EPIC FAIL - The Buffalo Bills Draft history since 2002 (Part 1 - 2006)

3/11/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
Cat = Buffalo GMs / Bird = Super Bowl
The Scizz

Alright, alright.  We've had soccer and basketball posts with veiled references to Buffalo this week, but enough is enough.  Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed both the Yachtsman's and Apologist's posts as much as the next guy, but now it's time for some more direct self-loathing.  With the NFL rookie combine wrapping up, I have decided to go directly to one of the main sources that has caused us all so much pain the last several years: the Buffalo Bills' drafts since 2002.  Now dissecting and examining every Bills' draft of the last 9 years would make for a very long blog post, as well as send me into a deep depression that may force me to run full speed into a brick wall, so I have decided to make this a series of posts.  Let's begin.
Picture
Mr. Bad Decison, Tom Donahoe
Between the 2002 and 2005 drafts, only FOUR players are still on the Buffalo roster.  Granted, this was during the simply awful Tom Donahoe era, and GM's usually like to come in and clean house as much as possible, but the fact that through those four drafts only four players have managed to stick around is sickening.  Not to mention, these players (Chris Kelsay, Terrence McGee, Lee Evans, and Roscoe Parrish) are ALL under-achievers who could foreseeably be on their way out.  However, I will say that before a season-ending injury, Roscoe was re-inventing himself in Chan Gailey's offense.  But fuck the other three.  On to 2006, the Marv Levy era!!!
Picture
'I met Visanthe in person. I kid you not....this big.'
Oh, Marv, Marv, Marv.  Remember when you wanted to draft only "high caliber guys"?  Jeezy creezy, what a terrible idea.  Still, we all drank the kool-aid.  How could we not?  The man that led us through the golden age of football during our childhood was here to save the franchise.  If he said he was only going to draft guys named Jim, Thurman, Andre, and Bruce... football experience or not, I would have supported him without a question and stabbed anyone who said otherwise.  BUT, we were all very wrong as we can see from the train wreck I'm about to show you.
I'd take an entire team of Charlie Sheen's and Pacman Jones' if it meant making the playoffs in 2011. Here we go...

THE 2006 DRAFT:
Picture
7th round:  Aaron Merz - Guard - California

Merz appeared sparingly in 7 games his rookie season and was never seen from again.  Granted, 7th rounders aren't exactly supposed to be top notch, but every year teams like the Jets, Patriots, and Steelers manage to find late round gems. Buffalo has managed to find one in the last 10 years, but we will talk about him another day.

Picture'Make that, Terrance Pennington, the thiiiiiiiiird.'
7th round:  Terrance Pennington - Tackle - New Mexico

First of all, if you see an offensive lineman and his name sounds like that of a snobby, British golfer, chances are he is not cut out for the NFL.  This guy looked like that possible diamond in the rough.  In his rookie season, he started in 9 games. He was forced into action due to injuries and appeared to play well. Then he was inexplicably cut the following training camp and ended up playing in a few games for the Falcons in 2007.  Wait... did I say injuries to the offensive line??? That never happens in Buffalo!!!!  F. M. L.

PictureAppears to work hard, but doesn't accomplish much.
6th round: Keith Ellison - Linebacker - Oregon State

This one might not seem awful at first.  I even jumped to his defense after the 2009 season when he led the NFL in tackles before getting injured (there's that word again) in Week 8. But on paper, you get a pretty solid idea of what a failure Keith really is.  164 solo tackles and 2 sacks in five seasons, while not staying healthy since 2007.  He has been sliding by as "just good enough" his whole career. He will not be a Bill in 2011.  0 for 3.

PictureI'm confused too, Brad
5th round:  Brad Butler - Offensive Lineman - Virginia

Remember Brad?  After a lackluster rookie season, he looked like the real deal.  In fact, after 2008, he actually signed this contract extension and was supposed to anchor the line for years to come.  What happened?  Just two games into the 2009 season, he had a career ending IN-JUR-Y to his right knee and that was that.  Never would have happened to Howard Ballard.  Just sayin'.

Picture
5th round:  Kyle Williams - Defensive Lineman - LSU

I couldn't find out much about this guy.  Who knows what happened to him.  

Yeah, yeah, credit due.  This has ended up being a great pick.  But 1 for 8 doesn't make this shitty draft any better.  

PictureNo, Ko. You are worth nothing now. ASS.
4th round: Ko Simpson - Safety - South Carolina

Again, a promising start but went downhill fast.  Just read this, this, and this.

PictureI actually found a picture of his ONE interception!
3rd round: Ashton Youboty - Defensive Back - Ohio State

Besides the awesome name, Ashton never really did much.  Cut after the 2007 season, Ashton went on to... what was that?  He is still on the team?  No shit?  Wow, that's surprising.  Maybe I didn't notice because he's only had 60 tackles and ONE interception in 5 seasons.

PictureJohn McCargo ate my sandwich = My fantasy team name
1st round: John McCargo - Defensive Tackle - N.C. State

I need to cover this one quickly before a vein explodes in my head.  Buffalo traded up to draft him, eventually traded him, had the trade voided because his overweight ass couldn't pass a physical in Indianapolis, brought him back the following season instead of giving some young rookie free agent a shot, and then guess who appeared in less games than Aaron Maybin last season?  THIS. FAT. FUCK. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!

Picture
1st round: Donte Whitner - Safety - Ohio State

Remember when Marv shocked everyone with this pick?  Then remember in Donte's first season when he flew all over the field like a bat out of Hell and you fell in love with his work ethic?  Now remember the past 3 seasons where he has been torched repeatedly, made tackles 15 yards downfield (and celebrated about it), made one big hit just to let you know he is still there, but then subsequently is never seen again for that game? Or maybe when he finally does something well late in the 4th quarter when his team is down three touchdowns, but he celebrates like the Bills just won the AFC championship?!?  Yeah. Let that sink in as he asks for a new contract that will make him one of the top paid safeties in the NFL.

In the words of Scarface from Half Baked:  Fuck YOU, fuck YOU, fuck YOU, fuck YOU, you're cool (points to Kyle Williams), fuck YOU, fuck YOU and fuck YOU, I'm out.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Follow DGWUSports on Twitter

    Recent Posts

    "I guess we have ourselves a reckoning." - Bills vs. Steelers Preview, Week 14

    "I got a nose for white supremacy, and he smells like bleach." Monday Night Football is back, folks.


    Dear God Why Us? In this Economy?

    DGWU Sports #CrapTastiCast Episode 49

    Us

    The Apologist
    @SamiquaLrhubarB

    The Barrister

    The Outlander
    @MattyRenn

    The Commander
    @essbeeay

    DEEG EMERITUS:

    The Yachtsman
    @Y_vo

    Guest Contributors


    And Them

    Black & Blue & Gold
    Buffalo Sabres Nation
    Die By The Blade
    Buffalo Wins
    Nick Mendola
    The Goose's Roost
    Bills Daily
    Sabres Prospects
    Shutdown Pair
    Sal Sports

    Email us!


    Past Drivel

    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    January 2020
    August 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    August 2018
    April 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    March 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    April 2010
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    April 2009


    Tags

    All
    2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs
    Aaron Hernandez
    Aaron Williams
    Adventures In Douchebaggery
    Amar'e Stoudemire
    Analytics
    Andre Reed
    Apostles Of Bob
    Arizona Cardinals
    Arsenal FC
    Arsene Wenger
    Assbaggery
    Auto Racing
    Bad Idea Night
    Baltimore Orioles
    Baltimore Ravens
    Baseball
    Basketball
    Beards
    #becauseitsbuffalo
    Beer
    Big Lebowski
    Bigots
    Big Thoughts
    Bills Mafia
    Bills Previews
    Black Sabbath
    Blue Collar
    Boat Shoes
    Boner_Shorts
    Boobie Dixon
    Booze
    Boston Bruins
    Boston Celtics
    Boston Red Sox
    Boston Sucks
    Brian Moorman
    BroneCast
    Bucky Gleason
    Buddy Nix
    Buffalo Bills
    Buffalo For Real
    Buffalo Sabres
    BuffaloWins
    Buffao Sabres
    Canada Sucks
    Carmelo Anthony
    Cats
    CFL
    Chan Gailey
    Chelsea FC
    Chelsea Licks Taint
    Chicago Blackhawks
    Chicago Cubs
    Chris Hairston
    Christian Ehrhoff
    Christmas
    Circling The Wagons
    Citi Field
    C.J. Spiller
    CK Anal
    Clint Dempsey
    Clownpenis.fart
    CM Punk
    Cody Hodgson
    Cody Mccormick
    Colin Kaepernick
    College Basketball
    College Football
    Cordy Glenn
    Craig Schaller
    CrapTastiCast
    Criminallyvu1ga
    Daft Punk
    Dallas Cowboys
    Daniel Briere
    Daniel Murphy
    Daniel Sturridge
    Dan Snyder
    Dan Wheldon
    Darcy Regier
    David Wright
    Dax McCarty
    Defensemen
    De La Soul
    Derek Roy Sucks
    Detroit Sucks
    DGWU Crew
    DGWU Legal Bureau
    Dick Jauron
    Dominik Hasek
    Donald Sterling
    Donald Trump
    Don Cherry
    Doug Flutie
    Doug Marrone
    Doug Whaley
    DRAFT GOOD!
    Drew Stafford
    Drugs
    Drunk
    E.J. Manuel
    El Greasico
    Emeritus My Balls
    Epic Fail
    Epic Meltdowns
    Epic Rants
    EPL
    Eric Wood
    Examples Of Awful Journalism
    Expats
    Faceless Internet Potshots
    FA Cup
    Fandom
    Fantasy Football
    F.C. Buffalo
    FJM
    Football
    Former Bills
    Former Knicks
    Former Sabres
    Fred Jackson
    Fred Wilpon
    Free Agency
    French Revolution
    Fuck ESPN
    Game Previews
    Game Recaps
    Gangs Are For Pussies
    Gary Bettman
    Gold Cup
    Golf
    Greg Roman
    Guest Contributors
    Hall Of Fame
    Happiness
    Hard Work
    Haterade
    High Character!
    Hillsborough
    Hockey
    Hockey Hall Of Fame
    Hulk Hogan
    Hungover
    IIHF World Championships
    Ike Davis
    Indignation
    Infinite Sadness
    Jack Eichel
    Jairus Byrd
    @jambrones
    James Dolan
    Jason Pominville
    Jeremy White
    Jerry Jones
    Jerry Sullivan
    Jhonas Enroth
    Jim Boeheim
    Jochen Hecht
    Joe Pinz1
    Johan Santana
    Johnny White
    John Scott
    Jon Vogl
    Jordan Leopold
    Jose Reyes
    Josh Beckett
    Jurgen Klopp
    Justin Rogers
    Kawika Mitchell
    Kelly's NYC
    Kelvin Sheppard
    Kevin Durant
    Kevin Youkilis
    Khal Drogo
    Kim Martin
    Kim Pegula
    King Kenny
    Kirk Nieuwenhuis
    Kobe Bryant
    Kraig Urbik
    Kyle Orton
    Kyle Williams
    L.A. Lakers
    Larry Quinn
    Lebron James
    Lee Evans
    Legumes On Your Penis
    Lenny Palumbo
    Leodis McKelvin
    LeSean McCoy
    Lindy Ruff
    Links
    Liveblog
    Liverpool FC
    Long Island
    Los Angeles Kings
    Luis Suarez
    Luke Adam
    Lunchpail
    Mailbag
    Manchester City
    Manchester Fc
    Manchester United
    Maple Leafs
    Marcell Dareus
    Marcus Easley
    Marcus Foligno
    Marcus Stroud
    Mario Williams
    Marshawn Lynch
    Martin Skrtel
    Marv Levy
    Matt Ellis
    Matthew Barnaby
    Matt Moulson
    McFadden's NYC
    Mean
    @Mechaphil
    Media Access
    Media Hit Jobs
    Megsie
    Memories
    Messi
    Metal
    Metallica
    Mets
    Miami Dolphins
    Miami Heat
    Michael Jasper
    Michael Jordan
    Michael Phelps
    Michael Vick
    Michael Vick Is A Fuck
    Mike D'Antoni
    Mike Grier
    Mike Harrington
    Mike Richards Is A Loser
    Mike Schopp
    Mikhail Grigorenko
    Miller
    MLB
    MLS
    Monday Night Football
    Mondee
    Montreal Canadiens
    Moon Bills
    Morality In Sport
    Motorsports
    Mouth Breathers
    Movie Trailers
    Moxy Früvous
    Murderers
    NASCAR
    Nathan Gerbe
    NBA
    Nba Draft
    Near Death Experiences
    Nerd Alert
    New England Patriots
    New Jersey Devils
    New York
    New York City
    New York Islanders
    New York Jets
    New York Knicks
    New York Mets
    New York Rangers
    New York Red Bulls
    New York Yankees
    NFL
    NFL Draft
    Nfl Free Agency
    Nfl Lockout
    NFLPA
    NHL
    Nhl Draft
    Nhl Free Agency
    Nhl Lockout
    NHL Playoffs
    Niagara Falls Reporter
    Nick Mendola
    No Limit Soldiers
    NSFW
    Nwo
    NYCBBB
    Nyc Sabre Summit
    Ny Red Bulls
    Oakland Raiders
    Occupy Nassau
    Offseason
    Oklahoma City Thunder
    Olympic Hockey
    Olympic Soccer
    #OneBuffalo
    Open Bar
    Optimism
    Overtime
    Ozzie Guillen
    Ozzy
    Parenthood
    Party Bus
    Pat Lafontaine
    Patrick Kaleta
    Patrick Kane
    Patriots
    Pat Williams
    Paul Gaustad
    Paul Hamilton
    Paul Posluszny
    Philadelphia Flyers
    Phillipe Coutinho
    Pink Elephant
    Pittsburgh Penguins
    Playoff Hockey
    Playoff Hunt 2011
    Playoffs
    Podacst
    Podcast
    Podcasts
    Post Game Reflections
    Post Game Reflections With The Yachtsman
    Post-Game Reflections With The Yachtsman
    Poz
    Pre Game Panicking
    Premiere League
    Premier League
    Premiership
    Press Conferences
    Pretentiousism
    Professional Wrestling
    Pro Football Hall Of Fame
    Pro Wrestling
    Pussies On Skates
    Qb Suckitude
    Rabbi Darkside
    Racing
    Racism
    Racist Assholes
    R.A. Dickey
    Ra Dickey
    Rafael Benitez
    Raffi Torres
    Rage Against The Machine
    Rage Storms
    Ralph Wilson Jr
    Ramblings
    Rants
    Rare Moments Of Lucidity
    Ray Lewis
    Realignment
    Recaps
    Rednecks
    Reggie Corner
    Rex Ryan
    Rian Lindell
    Roadcast
    Roadcasts
    Roadtrips
    Robert Goulet
    Rob Johnson
    Rob Ray
    Rob Van Dam
    Robyn Regehr
    Rochester Amercks
    Roger Goodell
    Ron Rolston
    Roscoe Parrish
    Running Diaries
    Russ Brandon
    Ryan Fitzpatrick
    Ryan Meanra
    Ryan Miller
    Ryan Nassib
    Sabres
    Sabres Alumni
    Sabres Crunk Mix
    Sabres Development Camp
    Sabre Summit
    Sadness
    Saint Bonaventure
    Sally Ride
    Sammy Watkins
    San Antonio Spurs
    Sanctimonious Shit Sandwich
    San Francisco 49ers
    Scizzette
    Scizz Gets Hard
    Scott Chandler
    September 11th
    Shady
    Shanabans7f1abf80bf
    Shaun Powell
    Shaving Buttholes
    Shawne Merriman
    Shawn Merriman
    Shit Sammies
    Sidney Crosby
    Signings
    Site Update
    Smarten Up
    Snowman Erections
    Soccer
    Spencer Johnson
    Standards Of Decency
    Stan Fischler
    Stanley Cup
    Starlin Castro
    Stephon Gilmore
    Steven Gerrard
    Steve Ott
    Stevie Johnson
    Stoke City FC
    Streetcast
    Strippers
    Subway Series
    Suck It Ref
    Summer Lovin
    Summer Movie
    Summer Movie Preview
    Summer Olympics
    Super Punters
    Super Troopers
    #SupportSally
    Swedes
    Swimming
    Syracuse Basketball
    Tailgating
    Tailgating At The Ralph
    Tank Carder
    Tanking
    Taro Tsujimoto
    Tashard Choice
    Tbn
    Team Captains
    Ted Black
    Ted Nolan
    Terrance Mcgee
    Terrance Williams
    Terrell Owens
    Terrence Mcgee
    Terry Collins
    Terry Pegula
    Thad Lewis
    Thanksgiving
    The Adventures Of Walter Garbinski
    The Apologist
    The Aud
    The Barrister
    The Beautiful Game
    The Big Lebowski
    The Buffalo News
    The Casted Foot
    The Cincinnati Bengals Are Criminals
    The City Of Buffalo
    The Commander
    The Continental
    The Dark Knight
    The Deeg
    The Defenseman
    The Grouch
    The Happy Endings Podcast
    The Hit
    The Hosers
    The Jambrones
    The Kids In The Hall
    The Kinsale
    The Legal Limit
    The Outlander
    The Patriots
    The Pink Elephant
    The Ralph
    The Rock
    The Ronin
    The Scizz
    The Scizzette
    The Undertaker
    The Wayans Brothers
    The Wild Card
    The Wire
    The Wizard
    The Yachtsman
    Thierry Henry
    Things That Matter More Than Sports
    Things That Piss Me Off
    Thomas Vanek
    Thrashers
    Tiger Woods
    Tim Connolly
    Tim Graham
    Tim Kennedy
    Tim Murray
    Tim Tebow
    Todd Collins
    Tom Brady
    Tom Golisano
    Tom The Cat
    Toronto
    Tottenham Hotspur
    Trade Rumor
    Trent Edwards
    True Colors
    Twitter
    Tyler Ennis
    Tyler Myers
    Tyler Thigpen
    Tyrod Taylor
    Ugly Models
    Undertaker
    Undrafted Free Agents
    USMNT
    USWNT
    Vacation
    Vajazzling
    Vancouver
    Vanilla Ice
    Video Games
    Ville Leino
    Vince Mcmahon
    Vincent Tan
    Vince Young
    Violence Is Not Funny
    Von Miller
    Vulgarity
    Wall Of Fame
    Warpath
    Washington Capitals
    Washington Redskins
    Waste Of A Post
    Watkins Glen
    WCW
    WECK 1230
    Weed
    Weezer
    Wembley
    West Wing
    WGR
    Where Are They Now?
    Wilco Sucks
    Winnipeg Jets
    World Cup
    Wrestlemania
    Wrestling
    Wtf
    Wu Tang Forever
    WWE
    Yankees
    You Can Play
    Your Mom

this site powered by the inane musings of raving lunatics