Dear God Why Us Sports
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Eat Lightning and Crap Thunder

6/9/2014

1 Comment

 
Periodically, we lease out this space to a friend of DGWU Sports and leader of our house band, the Jambrones, Jeff. Today is one such day. He usually writes about music and sports and being a dad and it rules. This one is even about soccer, which is appropriate this week. Cheers. - Dubs


By @jambrones, Guest Contributor
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I love sports, but I have never truly been an athlete or a coach.  The only legit sports team I ever played on was the Orchard Park JV Basketball team.  I also played soccer for 2 years when I was like 7.  All I remember was my mom yelling “Go get it Jeffrey…RUN….GO!!”  She told me later that I sat down on the field during a game and picked a dandelion.   (Awesome, If true...)   My dad?   His favorite book to read me was “Ferdinand the Bull," so yea, I became a musician.

So, when I took my 7 year old son to his U8 Soccer game a couple Saturdays ago and they told me our team had NO COACH for the day and would I please coach THREE 15 minute games, I shuddered.

“All you have to do is keep telling them to spread out and stuff like that," they said.   As I heard the Bill Conti bell ring inside my head, my fear turned to determination.

“Oh.  Ok.  I know kids.  I teach kids band lessons all day, every day. I preach about how sports and music are the same thing.  Prove it!  I know coaching.  I have read several books on Bob Knight.  So this will be fine. “

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The Greatest

2/10/2014

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This should have gone up yesterday, but I was busy as hell, so today will have to do. ~ Dubsy


@jambrones, Guest Contributor
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As the Deeg's official music education correspondent, producer of the “BroneCast”, co-author of “Dear God Why Us?” the Craptasticast theme song, esteemed founding member of the DEEG “House Band”, the Jambrones, and Beatle expert, I feel it is my sacred duty to at least chime in today, Feb. 9, Beatle Day USA, the 50th Anniversary of the first wave of the British Invasion: The Beatles’ historic series of Ed Sullivan Show performances.

I am aware that it’s way trite of me to say The Beatles are the greatest. It’s a little like being a Yankee fan or something, I admit... It's not an original concept. But it’s my truth. They are the reason I do what I do in life.  I only hope I don’t get anyone so fired up to the point Yachtsman has to go on a maniacal rant on how the Beatles dissed Jesus, suck at music, and Whitesnake or whoever is the greatest.

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LOVING AND HATING #BillsMafia

8/8/2013

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Guest Contributor, @jambrones

I don’t get fired up about things enough to violently berate them on the internet very often.  In fact, I only have done that once.  And it was a private matter.  Hashtag Bills Mafia is no exception.  I am not fired up, offended or even the least bit anxious about this hashtag and its wake.   This is exactly why I must write about it.  I am completely centered, here.  I am in #BillsZen.
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Belatedly, The BroneCast - Episode 4: Chicago vs. Boston

7/1/2013

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Hey so I forgot to put this up on the site despite the fact that it's been published on our podcast hoster (deargodwhyussports.libsyn.com) and on iTunes and shit for about a week or so and now the Cup finals are over and I feel like an asshole. Oops.

Back with another rad installment of The BroneCast, Jon (@Boner_Shorts) and Jeff (@jambrones) hit you with a Stanley Cup Finals themed podcast wherein they pit the bands Chicago and Boston against each other. GET IT?!? 

As is typical with this series, the ambiguously frayed duo bring a wealth of musical knowledge and skills as they break down Boston's "Foreplay/Long Time" and Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4." And it all rules. 

Cheers.


Download here or here. Or stream below. RSS feed for instant downloads is here. iTunes button also below. 

BOOM.
The DGWUS CrapTastiCast
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Music is Sports.

6/27/2013

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"What instrument should my kid play?"
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not tuba. shit is gigantic.
@jambrones, Guest Contributor


The easy answer is, “The one they like the sound of.”  But, that’s not the right answer in reality. The choice boils down to a finely seasoned stew of the kid’s personality, patience, work ethic, talent and physiology.  Since the general public’s knowledge of music is exceeded in horror only by their lack of patience talking about it, I usually cut my opinions way short.  However, the general public loves to talk about sports, take their kids to sporting events, team practices and games several times a week. Parents would probably benefit by realizing that learning an instrument and playing a sport are THE SAME DAMN THING. (Exception being the fitness aspect, which judging by the fitness of many parents, is not really a priority. Zing.)

Piano is Soccer.

Every child should take piano lessons for at least a year.  It is an excellent beginner instrument.  Kids don’t need to learn how to produce a sound on the piano…it’s automatic.  Even a cat that scurries across the keyboard gets a purrfect tone. You can teach a 3 year old kid a simple song in 2 minutes.  On the piano, you can play melodies, chords, 10 notes at once, super high and super low. It is easy to start, yet daunting to become great.  The step by step patterns of Western Music are laid out on the keyboard like a map in front of the player. It’s all there.  It’s like a musical abacus. Indeed, the piano is the KING of all Instruments.

And so it goes with soccer.  Every child should play soccer for at least a year. It is the undisputed King of all Sports.  Anyone can play it. Just kick. Even toddlers understand it. And yet…like the piano it’s a bitch to master, and really easy to be bad at.

ONE OBJECT: SCORE.  Ball----> Net.   Yay!  Repeat.  The net is HUGE, and it’s right there, on the grass.

ONE RULE:  don’t use your hands.  That’s it…go play. As a beginning soccer kid, there are no special super hard skills or techniques like skating or dribbling a basketball or hitting a baseball to slow the process down.  It’s a great beginner’s sport; Instant success. YET…like the piano, mastery is evasive.  There are advanced dribbling moves and strategy, and a few more rules, just like piano, but in order to get out there and play as a kid, you need not know these things.  That is the beauty of it. Easy to learn, hard to perfect.  Knowing this, it comes as no surprise that soccer is the most popular sport on earth. 

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The BroneCast - Episode 3: Jazz Handies

5/7/2013

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The Barrister

This was ruminating for a while, as the BroneCast regulars Jeff (@Jambrones) and Jon (@Boner_Shorts) had been discussing their mutual love of musicals with me for a while .... a love I, of course, dorkily share. So, since the guys had successfully started a music podcast it made sense to devote and episode to this genre sooner or later.

And then Jason Collins came out and we made the potentially offensive and easy leap to "hey let's get on that showtunes episode to celebrate the gay guy!!" 

The Bone Man, aka Jon, picked a couple of beauties this week: "You Have to Be Carefully Taught" from South Pacific and "You'll Never Walk Alone" from Carousel. Quite the pair of great Rodgers & Hammerstein tunes, replete with great inspirational messages to pay seems-like-snark-but-is-really-genuine tribute to Mr. Collins and all people who have struggled to publicly come out as their true selves. 

Download here or here, stream below in the player, subscribe on itunes below (will have this ep soon) or hit the RSS feed here. 
The DGWUS CrapTastiCast
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The BroneCast - Episode 2: Please Give a Sh*t

2/1/2013

2 Comments

 
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Back with their now sort of famous to a few people podcast, Jeff (@Jambrones) and Jon (@Bones_Shorts) bring you Episode 2 of the BroneCast and ask that you please, please, please give a shit. 

Using the Super Bowl as a jumping off point, they pit Baltimore-born Frank Zappa against San Francisco band The Bungles.  They break down the music like few can, drop some f bombs and giggle like little girls.  Par for the course from the ever-growing Deeg Podcast Industries.  I hate myself for typing that.

Stream below or download here or here. If you need our podcast RSS feed, it is deargodwhyussports.libsyn.com/rss.

The DGWUS CrapTastiCast
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The Deeg Podcast Industries Present... Bronecast - Episode 1: Cobras vs. Cotton Candy

1/14/2013

2 Comments

 
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In an effort to further expand our shitty digital universe here at the Deeg, contributors and house band members Jeff and Jon of The Jambrones have started a new podcast! 

Not quite sports-related, Jeff and Jon's new series will focus on music - specifically their review of individual songs using perhaps the dorkiest music teacher rubric to determine a winner. 

In the end, it's fucking rad.

With episode 1, the guys pit a hardcore tune from a Buffalo-based band against a manufactured pop tune from a young lady you probably hate. 

Download or stream, and enjoy!

The DGWUS CrapTastiCast
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Jim Boeheim 903   Bob Knight 902

1/2/2013

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Barrister here. We're happy to have friend of the Deeg, @Jambrones, back as a guest contributor. Last time he was with us, he gave us a recap of Bills/Pats through the voice of his kid and it was ADORABLE. Seriously. This time, he's here to stir up some controversy as Jim Boeheim is set to take over as the second most winningest coach in NCAA Men's Basketball history.  I'm sure there are plenty of Cuse fans among you - hell, Scizz and Yachtsman will probably be fuming over this one and may even offer a rebuttal if we're lucky - so I fully expect this to anger some. But fuck it, if we let Outlander talk about the Red Sox - who all reasonable thinking Americans despise - this guy can talk some shit about Boeheim. 

Enjoy.

Guest Contributor: @Jambrones

Coaches earn their keep in crunch time, when split decisions can instantly put players in a position to win.
We are acutely aware of this in Buffalo, where the Bills go through coaches like tampons, in part, because of bad decisions at key points in ballgames.  

Tonight, Jim Boeheim will likely pass Bob Knight in total wins as Syracuse plays Rutgers at home.  Although this makes me want to throw up, I will acknowledge that Boeheim has done a fantastic job at Syracuse.  He knows how the system works in college basketball and he's found success as a result.  Boeheim is for the Orange what Buffalo wishes Lindy Ruff was for the Sabres. (Player---Coach---Champion).  But, even while he surpasses Knight, let’s not forget that when Boeheim faced Knight head to head for the 1987 National Championship, the better coach, working with less naturally talented players, came through when it mattered.

I now give you the 26 seconds that show Bob Knight > Jim Boeheim.


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Observations from #KidCommentary -- A Bills/Pats Recap

11/13/2012

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_ “It’s not polite to say ‘shit’ Daddy.”

–Jambaby, during Bills/Patriots game

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shit.
@jambrones, Guest Contributor

On Sundays, I usually go gallivanting with my comrades on a masochistic Buffalo Bills adventure.  But this week, I hunkered down with my 6 year old 1st Grader, aptly named “Jambaby”  by The Continental, for an afternoon of simplicity, surprise and nostalgia.  I was reminded of my earliest memory of the Buffalo Bills: the goalposts coming down in 1980 after beating Miami for the first time in 10 years.  I too, was 6.  This past Sunday vs. the New England Patriots, full circle?   Well, we all know how that went. Ugh. 

Here’s a #kidcommentary breakdown.

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