Dear God Why Us Sports
"You are a complete embarrassment to anyone legitimately trying to blog.
You're gonna ruin it for everyone else. Keep it up." - Mike Harrington, TBN
  • Blog
  • The Deeg Podcast Industries
  • Mission Statement
  • Contributors

You don't draw shit, Lebowski

12/17/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
The Apologist

Let's face it. We're all fed up with the Bills. I can't remember the last time I talked to any kind of Bills fan who was still interested in the remainder of the regular season.

So when drawing my Dudespiration (do somethin') for this week's preview, I thought of one of my top five moments when the Dude lands in the office of the Malibu Police Chief ("A real reactionary").

Because honestly, I want to say this to the Bills right now...

Read More
0 Comments

I Am The Walrus... I Am The Walrus... I Am The Walrus...

12/10/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture
If nothing else, this game led me to this poster. Awesome.
_The Apologist

There was a time this season when it seemed absurd to think that a Week 14 match-up against the San Diego Changers would be meaningless. That time is not today. Nor really any day in the last five weeks.

We all know the situation. Chances are if you've followed DGWUS' coverage of the Bills season, the slide in performance has come with a slide in our already limited attention spans. But with the team's infirmary overrun with wounds (FOURTEEN players on the injured reserve list? Seriously?!) and the play on the field looking equally gruesome, it's hard to imagine anyone getting very excited for a game on the west coast against a 5-7 team getting ready to fire their head coach.

And so in keeping with the Scizz's Lebowski theme this season, the most relevant Dude moment to me was this classic scene from the Coen brothers' film...

Read More
0 Comments

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!!!

12/3/2011

2 Comments

 
Picture
Barrister?

The Scizz

This is my week 13 Buffalo Bills preview. It's not really a preview, rather, it's a rage and sadness storm. Also, it probably makes little to any sense. Meh.

If you are a fan of the Big Lebowski, then you will be familiar with the scene above. If you are a HUGE fan of the Big Lebowski, then you will be very familiar with the title of the post. You see, when Lebowski plays on cable, John Goodman's favorite line of "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" is brilliantly translated to "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!" Almost as good as the famous Scarface translation into "Where'd you get that beauty scar, tough guy? Eating pineapple?". But, I'll let you check that out for yourself.

What does this have to do with the Buffalo Bills? Well, when the Bills started this season, they were tough underdogs who worked hard, played harder, and seemed like they were ready to take on the world. They were Walter's original line. Since week 7, the Bills have become that weak direct to TV translation. They are plagued with constant injuries, show little to no heart (although I'll admit there was a couple sparks last week), and have powerful ability to look like a NAIA college football team.

Read More
2 Comments

The bums will always lose-- do you hear me, Lebowski? THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE!!!

11/12/2011

2 Comments

 
Picture


The Scizz

This is going to be a short one. My mind has been elsewhere, and in all honesty, the idea of football and all organized sports has been totally put on the back burner this week (although I did watch both Sabres games).

Last week's loss to the Jets sucked. That's all I can muster. If you want more, check out my recap, or head over to Buffalo Wins to hear Joe and I talk about it on his podcast. 

On to the week 10 preview against Big D, or as some assholes would have you believe, "America's team". Really? America's team? FUCK. THAT. NOISE. The Dallas Cowboys are one of the most hated franchises in all of sports. How the hell could anyone ever say they are the team that represents the U.S.? 

Then again, the team, much like the Jets, has spent the last 20 years employing d-bags like Jimmie Johnson, Tony Romo, Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin, and because he went to Alabama, I assume Felix Jones. Therefore, since I think as a nation we are mostly d-bags, maybe they ARE America's team. Yup, profound generalizations about an entire nation and organization. Everyone else is doing it this week, so I figured I'd jump in.

As the Yachtsman told me on Tuesday night, if the Bills win this game, they will prove they are the real deal, but if they get trounced, it's lights out (Merriman reference!). Seems pretty simple, but I tend to agree. Last week displayed how Buffalo can still be easily out-played and out-coached. As much as the Cincy and Giants losses hurt, this one was the first devastating loss of the year. It was the first time the Bills looked like the team we all thought we would see this year. They have to respond. They have to mimic the Jets and Giants, two teams that have looked to be in deep trouble this year, but then turned it around with some big, impressive wins. The Bills need this in order to prove to themselves that they are a team capable of a playoff run, and to prove to us that this is not the same old Buffalo Bills.

But the Cowboys need this too. At 4 - 4, they desperately need to jump back into the division/wild card hunt. Their loss to the Eagles was an embarrassment, and the Giants have bounced back to become a major contender in the NFC. We are dealing with two teams that are out to prove something. And as Mr. Lebowski told the Dude, the bums will always lose. Let's see which team plays the role of "the bums" this week, and which one plays the role of Lebowski's Little Urban Achievers. Wait, was that racist? Ah fuck it, I can't tell anymore.

With that being said, I look forward to enjoying this week's game with the Scizette's family in Jersey; Giants fans who HATE the Cowboys. Always fun when fans of two teams can get together and share their hate for another sports franchise altogether. This is how family bonds are made. That, and heavy consumption of stuffing and whiskey on Thanksgiving. More on that another day.
Picture
Not sure what this has to do with anything, but how could I not post it?
A few more thoughts before I wrap this up:

-The Bills lost Kyle Williams for good this week, so that sucks. It's your D now Mr. Dareus, time to step up.

-Buffalo also lost Mr. Consistency (most of the time?), Rian Lindell, and signed kicker Dave Rayner, who coincidentally, served me at Boson Market last Wednesday afternoon! 

-The offensive line still looked solid last week. I expect nothing less in week 10, especially with Levitre and Hairston totally healthy. I never expected to ever type that last sentence.

-Fred Jackson needs another big game. Duh. 20-25 carries and MORE FUCKING SCREEN PASSES, CHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

-Stop throwing deep to Donald Jones. You have Stevie Johnson, and two enormous targets in David Nelson and Scott Chandler. I love DoJo, but the guy is way to small to be the deep threat that Fitz hopes he is.

-Demarco Murray is the real deal. There is a chance this kid could go nuts on the Defense. Then again, there is a chance that Lee Smith has a breakout game and catches four touchdowns. I'm an idiot.

-I just deleted a whole paragraph making disparaging remarks about a certain moron who writes for the Buffalo News. Take your pick. I'm going to save that expose for another day.

-Jerry Jones is a fucking asshole. Seriously, how could anyone like a billionaire owner who overspends for ridiculous things and causes the fans to put the franchise up on a pedestal wait a minute forget I ever said anything moving on.

With that, I'd normally say follow me on twitter, but due to the stupidity of humans, and my own mental health, I am taking a sabbatical from the tweet machine. Follow the Deeg though, those guys are alright.
Follow DGWUSports on Twitter


Go Bills, and enjoy this clip of Chris Cox doing his amazing Jerry Jones impression on Sklarbro Country. Oh, and my new favorite musical artist, J.D. Mcpherson. How does that voice come out of that guy? I love it.
2 Comments

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude.

11/5/2011

3 Comments

 
Picture


The Scizz

I started with a cheap shot foot joke at Rex Ryan this week. So what? I don't want to be original. I want to be a mean spirited guy that makes fun of other's shortcomings, so I say fuck him and his clogged arteries. I WANT VICTORY!!! 

In my week 9 Bills preview, I have decided to very simply break down all the things I LOVE about the Bills so far this year and HATE about the Jets. After last week's performance, the Bills deserve no animosity from me, however, that could all change this week BECAUSE IF THEY LOSE TO THE JETS I WILL DISOWN THEM AS A FRANCHISE AND MOVE TO CANADA! NOTHING LESS WILL BE ACCEPTED AAAAAAHHHH RAAAAAAAAAAGE STOOOOOOOOOOORM I HATE THE JETS!!!!

Before I blow a gasket, let me count the ways I adore the 2011  Buffalo Bills:

1. Fred Jackson is arguably the best running back in the NFL this season and should be a legitimate early MVP contender. Of course Aaron Rodgers, Calvin Johnson, and Patrick Willis are getting all of the attention, as well they should be, but blowhards on the radio and ESPN are talking up Eli FUCKING Manning as an early candidate. Just stop. Seriously.

Jackson has already rushed for 721 yards, with 1074 yards from scrimmage in ONLY SEVEN GAMES! Toss in a 5.5 yards per carry average and 6 TD's and that's pretty fucking incredible. The only other RB's that even touch him this year are AP (Vikings suck), and Matt Forte (Mike Martz). As mentioned on this week's CrapTastiCast, Freddie is by far the best RB this team has had since Thurman, and the organization needs to lock him up NOW! If the team makes the playoffs, hence lifting my ban of purchasing Bills merchandise, #22 is an easy purchase....after he extends his contract.

2. Marcell Dareus is going to be a beast for years to come. Yachtsman touched on this earlier in the week, so I won't exhaust it, but JESUS H. CHRIST did you see him move out there last Sunday? I don't give a shit if it was the Redskins or any other team, franchise players dominate bad teams. That's what he did, and I want to kiss him on the mouth. Picture that....go ahead, do it. You know you want to.

3. The collective of random players making big plays is mind blowing. Fitzy and Stevie Johnson have become quite the impressive combo, but how about Scott Chandler and his 6 Touchdowns? How did Chan and Buddy find this guy? CHANDLAARS!!!!

Throw in David Nelson, Naaman Roosevelt, George Wilson, Kirk Morrison, Bryan Scott, and I could keep going. Gotta love the Goonies.

4. The offensive line is the most ridiculously over-achieving group of players I have ever seen. Even with Demetrius Bell resting, the group has created a fortress of solitude around the Amish Rifle, the likes of which no one has seen in Buffalo since 1994. 

Can you name all the starters? Here they are: Andy Levitre, Jim Richter, Mike Ludders, Fred Dukes, and a marble pillar. The more you know.
Picture
SMART
Now onto the Jets hate. Fuck 'em.

1. The fans (for the most part) are cut from the mold of satan's asshole. Besides a few close friends who know football, it is next to impossible to have intelligent conversations with these monsters. Every time I travel to the Meadowlands or watch football in New York, I get Johnny Pepperoni and big Sal telling me how great the Jets are,  and how the Bills and everybody else in the NFL suck, despite them only knowing that Mark Sanchez is their QB, Rex Ryan is the coach, and bunch of black guys they would normally hate are the rest of the team. Yes, I'm calling many of them racist. Head to the Meadowlands, you'll see.

Remember how much these guys loved Eric Mangini? The Mangenius? Remember all of the shit talking these fuckheads did when he was the coach? Another rage storm approaching....

The worst part is that this fat fuck Rex Ryan has bumped up their sense of accomplishment. I don't mind fans being confident in their team, BUT ONLY IF THEY CAN BACK IT UP!!!! If you can't name the starting defense or even know the name of your coordinators, then get the fuck away from me and go back to watching Soprano's re-runs and talking about how you could beat up Ronnie from Jersey Shore. Uh oh.....RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!!!!!!!!!
Picture
This Deeg interlude brought to you by a crying, steroid fueled d-bag

Alright, I"m better now. I swear. Deeeeeeeeeeeep breath, and here we go:

2. Darrelle Revis is so fucking good it makes me angry. I'm not sure how to justify this, but the guy is the game changing coverage corner that I have always wanted the Bills to find. Having him on the field gives the Jets an insane boost, no matter who they are playing. I WANT HIM ON MY TEAM GOD DAMMIT! Oh wait, we have Leodis. Joy.

3. Mark Sanchez is slightly better than Trent Dilfer. He is not a star QB. He is a good looking asshole who knows how and when to say the right things, but as a player he does "just enough". The reason that Baltimore won a Super Bowl in 2001 was their defense and running game, and that's how the Jets manage to succeed (although the running game has struggled the last couple of seasons). Trent Dilfer's job was to not screw up; same as the role Sanchez has taken. Sure, he has shown flashes of star power, but overall the guy is mediocre. This isn't a bad thing for the Jets, but the fans, media, and his teammates need to stop treating him like super star. He's no Browning Nagle.

4. I hate Rex Ryan. I hate his fat face. I hate his dumb foot fetish. I hate his loudmouth predictions that nobody holds him accountable for. I hate his doofy smile. I hate his brother. I hate the fact he gave up on his team and talked shit about them, yet when THEY turned it around, he took all of the credit. I hate that he is a known horse rapist. I hate that he laughed when Steve Jobs passed away. I hate that he drinks Cosmopolitans. I hate that he runs a dog fighting ring. And finally, I hate that he never even considered coaching the Bills.

But that no longer matters because Chan is the man! 

Until a blowout loss tomorrow, and then of course I move to Canada and start my new Toronto sports themed blog, Dear Lord, what aboot us, eh? 

(Or enter your own bad Canadian joke here)

Follow DGWUSports on Twitter
Follow TheScizz on Twitter
3 Comments

Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

10/29/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
It really did tie the room together.


The Scizz

Welcome to your week 8 Bills preview. In honor of the most delightfully racist mascot in all of professional sports (except maybe the Canadiens), I pay tribute to the Dude's inability to understand the non-PC issue with the term "chinaman". Although the prick did piss on his rug.

This week the the Bills travel to Toronto to "host" the Washington Redskins, as they attempt to piss on Buffalo's metaphorical rug. Or not really because Buffalo's rug would be the Ralph, wouldn't it? And doesn't the Ralph already smell like piss from the years of grown men urinating in sinks during halftime? Huh? What was I talking about?

Oh right, football.

The Bills are still pretty banged up at receiver after failing to make a deal for Brandon Lloyd or Reggie Wayne at the trade deadline, and defensive stalwart Kyle Williams looks to still be weeks away from a return. Furthermore, roideriffic Shawne Merriman's season is over, and most likely his joke of a career in Buffalo. Back to long days of drinking Grey Goose and beating the fuck out of 90 pound internet models for him! You can hear us bitch about it more on this week's CrapTastiCast.

In positive news, Demetrius Bell, aka Karl Malone Jr., will return to anchor the O-line, and the Amish Rifle himself enters the game with a brand spankin' new contract worth $59 million over 6 years. Daaaaaaaaayum! That is one expensive beard! Here's hoping it translates into a big game from the bearded wonder, and not a disaster, like the careers of other recent overpriced QB contracts. I'm looking at you Derek Anderson and Charlie Tavaris Whitehurst Jackson. With a huge pay raise in tow, look for Fitzy to come out firing on all cylinders, especially after a bye week and time to think about the atrocious picks he threw against the Giants two weeks ago. I for one would love to see Freddie Jackson to get 25-30 carries, and for Spiller to get 10-15, but we all know Chan wants to rack up at least 40 points, so let the heart attacks begin!
Picture
I SEE THE LIGHT! Oh wait, that's just the headlights of Marshawn's car.

As for the Redskins, their top wideout, starting TE, and go-to RB are out for the game. Santana Moss is nursing a broken interior cruciminary fibula bone, Chris Cooley is banging his hot wife, and Tim Hightower was put on season ending IR for a burst eardrum and nagging nosebleeds. Sexy Rexy will NOT be gunning repetitive throws into Buffalo's secondary, and instead, assumed Mormon (insert sister-wives joke here) John Beck gets his second straight start after a decent showing in week 7 against the Cowboys.

That all seems to look wonderful for the Bills, except for the fact that Buffalo tends to play shitty against underdeveloped players that nobody has heard of. I see John Beck throwing for 400 yards, Roy Helu running for 150 and 3 TD's, and of course Art Monk will make his triumphant return to the 'Skins to put up 11 catches for 172 yards, all while taunting Andre Reed with his Hall of Fame jacket on. Not to mention, Brian Orakpo will be the first player to light up the Bills line by tripling the season sack total from two to six. He still remembers getting passed up for Aaron Maybin.

Alright, maybe I'm overreacting a taaaaaaaad bit. I just know Buffalo has played shitty in Toronto the past couple seasons, and it stirs up a rage storm inside of me every time it's called a home game. Fuck that! At least George Wilson finally stood up and called out the idea that this is some sort of advantage for his team. About time somebody spoke up. God knows that shitface Trent Edwards was always sucking up to the wasteland that is Canada. Stupid Canada, with their clean air, free health care, and incredible gun control laws. HA! Pussies!

Now excuse me while I breathe in enough toxins to kill a moose, look at a bill from Empire for $1300 for an emergency room visit seven years ago, and then get hit by a stray bullet on my way home from writing this. AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
Follow thescizz on Twitter
Twitter Buttons
1 Comment

You're not dealing with morons here

10/21/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
Man in black? Is that you?


The Scizz

Ah the bye week. In the past several years, it has become one of my favorite times of the year. One week of the NFL where I can focus on my fantasy team(s) above all else. One week where I don't have to be concerned about the Bills getting blown out by 40. One week where my heart can rest from the ridiculous emotions the Bills have sent firing through me. One week where I can rest my liver from the pounding it takes while trying to drown said emotions.

This year I expected to be a little more antsy over the bye week, but alas, I'm pretty psyched about it. With a full Friday and Saturday of wedding plans in Connecticut (for friend of DGWU, D-Roc, whom you may remember from Ep. 14 of the CrapTastiCast), this Sunday is going to turn out to be a nice little resting period for the gal and I. No screaming at the secondary for getting torched by mediocre wide receivers. No near vomiting from all the close games that Fitz and the crew have put us through. And best of all, no new injuries to seven more starters. 

So what else is there to do? Well I'm glad you stopped by, because the Scizz has got your back. Here is a fantabulous rundown of some activities to keep you busy this weekend, listed from top to bottom according to priority.
Picture
Paging the spirit of Bob Corkum. Bob Corkum are you there?
1. Stop back in to DGWU for the epic return of the CrapTastiCast. After a two-month hiatus due to constant traveling, high level stress at real jobs, technical errors because of celebratory beer spillage, and outright laziness, we all got together this week and recorded episode 15! It takes place in darkess at Megsie's apartment with a full menu of craft beer and incoherent ramblings from each of us. Remember how we hit our stride after a few episodes? Yeah, that's gone. But, it still was a lot of fun and we are sure you will enjoy it.

If you have yet to familiarize yourself with the little podcast we do here, check out the CrapTastiCast archives to prepare yourself. May I suggest episodes 3, 7, and 13 as some of our best non-guest adventures.


2. NASCAR, BITCHES! With no Bills game, I'll be able to focus on one of my favorite races of the year; the Fall Talladega race. Tune in to ESPN Sunday afternoon to see why Will Ferrell and Adam McKay chose this track as their muse for Ricky Bobby. With only five races left in the Chase for the Sprint Cup, just 35 points separate first from eighth place. Carl Edwards holds a slim lead over Kevin Harvick and last week's winner Matt Kenseth. Five-time defending champ Jimmie Johnson sits in eighth place, so please join with me in hoping he blows an engine by lap 14 so that NASCAR can finally have a new title holder.

3. Sabres Hockey. Do I really need to write anything else? Go back and look at the Barrister's giddiness over his last few posts if you need any more reason.

4.  Go to the movies and watch Johnny English Reborn. I love Rowan Atkinson and I love Mr. Bean. I don't care if this makes it seem like I'm nine, the dude makes me laugh.

5. Piss of your girlfriend/wife (or boyfriend/husband!) by watching every other NFL game on Sunday, while keeping your computer open to stat-tracker from 1pm until 12am. This should be completely understandable. Just know that when football season ends, you may have to sit and watch a full day's worth of that Sex and the City box set you bought her for Christmas (or Aqua Teen Hunger Force for the dudes).

6. I know I said this could be a rest from activities that destroy your body, but then again, why not get intoxicated and watch The Big Lebowski. Then these stupid Bills preview posts will make more sense with a fresh viewing on your mind. And if you have never seen it, LEAVE THIS SITE NOW YOU GOD-FORSAKEN SPIRIT!!!!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!!!

7. Catch up on the blogosphere. If you're like me, then the sheer amount of content on Bills and Sabres blogs has been somewhat overwhelming over the past few weeks. I have often found myself way behind on posts from some of my "go to" blogs. Take a look at our archives first, of course, then check out our blogroll for all the sites we here at DGWU love. Or in some cases love/hate. I'm talking to YOU, Tim Connolly supporters!

8. Finally, if you have nothing else to do, watch stupid baseball and punch yourself in the face.

Enjoy the weekend and I'll see you next week for my Week 8, Bills-Redskins preview. Let us all hope and pray that Sexy Rexy will be playing, just for the high comedy that comes with watching him attempt to play football.

I have recently fell back in love with the wit and music stylings of Mr. Ben Folds, so enjoy this fantastic video from 1997 when I was an awkward, high school nerdathlete. Oh, and kudos to you if you "got" the caption under the the lead-in picture to this post. Gotta love that Lebowski/Jacob connection.
Twitter Buttons
1 Comment

Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.

10/15/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
The healthiest preparation before Bills games.


The Scizz

Welcome to my Week 6 Buffalo Bills preview. My apologies for not providing you, the dear readers, with a Lebowski quote themed Bills preview for last week's game against the Fuggles. I actually wrote almost half the post in a car en-route to Montreal for a bachelor party, and fully planned on finishing and posting it at some point while I was there, I really did. However, after arriving on the scene, what followed was a 27 hour bender the likes I have not been a part of in years. Which of course, was my first reason for this week's Big Lebowski quote. Naturlly.I have three other connections to this week's title...

1. I feel like we all need a strict drug regimen to keep our minds straight while dealing with these Bills. Dear lord. With the exception of the opener against the Chiefs, every week has driven us to the brink of insanity. Two huge comeback wins, one 14 point lead blown to lose the game on the last play, and of course last week's odd domination/almost last minute choke. Tack on all the injuries to the secondary, offensive line, and now receivers, and this team will kill at least 37 people this season due to strokes or heart attacks. I would suggest that getting really drunk would help you deal with it, however, I have tried that nearly every week and I still freak out with a terrifying rapid heart beat. Drugs it is.

*DGWU does not support the use of illegal drugs. Except meth, which has given us the birth of Intervention, Breaking Bad, and obviously Hoarders.

Picture
This photo is not too far from the actual truth

2. Will somebody get Merriman back on the drugs? Seriously. I read earliest this week that his effin' achilles is bothering him AGAIN! And, I just received a text that says he didn't even travel with the team to Jersey. I hope everyone is with me when I say, pump this dude full of 'roids again and feed him enough cocaine to make Tony Montana blush. Who is in charge of these things? Where is the guy I knew from college whose job it was to keep Jim Kelly's Gatorade bottle full of vodka when he was watching from the sidelines? (Post-career! Post-Career!)

Picture
Does anyone have Canseco's s Cell #?

3. Eli Manning always looks confused and paranoid. You think his teammates would have passed some sticky icky onto him by now. Kid needs to caaaaaaalm down and relax sometimes. I usually feel bad for him, even when he is winning. Imagine having incredible pressure to live up to your father's insane expectations and then live in the shadow of your much more talented older brother. I don't give a fuck if he won a Super Bowl trophy! Look at him! Every time he throws the ball he looks like he either just shit his pants or he just remembered that he left a bootleg porn vid in his parent's VCR. (Sidenote: Both feel like punches to the stomach)

Picture
Oh I hope it wasn't the one with the she-males.
In other news, this game scares the fuck out of me. The Giants tend to rebound very well after disappointing losses, and could there be a more disappointing loss than last week's debacle against the Charlie Whitehurst led Seahawks? Tom Coughlin may not be considered the greatest coach out there, or the greatest coach named Tom, or even a coach at all, but one thing he does do well is motivate his team after major letdowns. If I wasn't a lazy blogger watching a Hockey game while I type this (GOOOOOOOOOOOAL BY ROOOOOOOOOOOOY!), I would have attempted to looked up a stat for this. I should have asked Black & Blue & Gold if we could get CriminallyVul1ga on loan this week.

Keep in mind that these Giants are still 3 - 2 and have looked very good at times this year. Hakeem Nicks is a huge receiving threat, something that has given Buffalo's weak secondary fits this year. Which reminds me! Have you EVER seen such a paradoxical pass coverage in your life? These guys will give up big pass after big pass, which has driven me fucking nuts this season, but have still managed a ridiculous number of interceptions. I don't get it. It has been either all or nothing....and I kinda like it.
Picture

What other incredible insider news do I have for you? Well, I could go over all of the injury reports and what-not, but you can read those anywhere. So here are the injuries that will happen THIS week: 

Giants: Victor Cruz - High Ankle Sprain, Justin Tuck - Strained Scrotum, Brandon Jacobs - Lodged Bear Claw, Steve Smith - Philadelphia Eagles, Jason Pierre-Paul - Fuckin' French

Bills: Naaman Roosevelt - Broken hand (of course), C.J. Spiller - Cracked ego, Terrance McGee - Leg fell off, Kellen Heard - Fall into obscurity, Lee Smith - Torn rotator cuff leading to Tommy John surgery, and of course Freddie Jackson's head will explode from extreme awesomeness. TO THE LINKS!

5 reasons to hate the New York Giants: Buffalo Wins
I love leading with these. Joe drops some much loved hate.

Should the Bills trade for a Wide Receiver?: WNY Water Cooler
Steve talks about the Buffalo WR trade rumors.

Buffalo Barks!: Kenny's 2 Pennies
If you are not watching Kenny's Bills (and 'Cuse) video recaps, you are truly missing out.

3 guys who need to show up for the Bills: Buffalo Wins
Title says it all. And I agree with everything Joe wrote here.

Breaking down the rest of Buffalo's schedule: Buffalo Lowdown
Brad Andrews plays a little game I use to drive myself crazy with.

Enjoy the game this weekend and GO BILLS!!! I'm feeling high school nostalgic today:
Twitter Buttons
Follow @TheScizz
1 Comment

This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha!

9/30/2011

0 Comments

 
Picture

The Scizz

Welcome to my Buffalo Bills, week 4 preview. I will briefly break down this so-called "trap game" against the Bengals, AND provide you with some great Buffalo Bills blog links (not just to everything on the Bills website that  Chris Brown writes, or the TBN and WGR crapfest), but first, as the Big Lebowski quote that titles this post foreshadows, I have something to get off my chest.


Bengals Head Coach Marvin Lewis Guaranteed a win over our beloved Buffalo Bills this week. That's right, he thinks his criminally filled, 1 - 2 Bengals are going to be at .500 at the end of the day on Sunday. I'm not going to sit here and start preaching about how the Buffalo Bills are the best team in the NFL and that nobody can compete with them, but what I am going to do is tell Marvin Lewis to shut the fuck up. Guarantee a win in week 4 against a team clearly superior to you? Really? REALLY?  

Andy Dalton and the new Bengals offense has looked fairly solid thus far, but to make a bold statement like that is just mind-numbingly stupid. I HATE when players and coaches guarantee victories. Why? Because everybody does it now. There is no longer any meaning or repercussions to making these absurd promises. Several years ago, the guarantee meant something. It rarely happened, and when it did, it was a player that, nine times out of ten, could back up the talk. Now, it seems like every week, some over-aged wide receiver, back-up linebacker, or Rex Ryan are guaranteeing victories and championships, because the media just ignores it the following week and there is no "real" accountability. So what if they are wrong? They just say "oh well" and move on to their next idiotic plea for attention. However, when they are correct in their guarantee, they look like a like a real team leader that motivated the team to victory. BULLSHIT. Shut the fuck up and do your job. If you win, congrats. If you lose, move on and work harder. Goodell needs to start suspending the douche-nozzles that make these "bold" predictions that don't come true. Otherwise, fat assholes like Rex Ryan will keep guaranteeing a Super Bowl win because his dumb ass bandwagoning fans will believe everything he says. These are your average fans that honestly know little to nothing about the actually franchise. So in closing to this part of the preview, could the Bengals beat the Bills this week? Absolutely. But, guaranteeing that it is definitely going to happen just shows how far Marvin Lewis has fallen. A once highly touted coach is hanging on for dear life, and pulling out every lame trick in the book to hold on to his shitty job. 

Join me after the jump for the rest of the week 4 "preview".

Read More
0 Comments

No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.

9/24/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
The Belichick children


The Scizz

I could sit here and tell you that my doubt of Fitzy’s consistency still lingers. I could tell you that our run defense still has MANY kinks to work out before we contend. And, I could shout at you that Leodis McKelvin is this team’s biggest liability and needs to stop being awful immediately. But you know what? That’s where it ends. This team has brought me more joy in the last two weeks than I can remember. I’m even counting that 5 – 1 start that Trent Edwards had a few years ago. This team showed HEART last week, and when it counted, they stepped up to get the big W….except Leodis, he still sucks balls.

The Buffalo Bills have already exceeded all of our expectations and it is only week 3. The Amish Rifle is THE MAN! Freddie Jackson leads the NFL in rushing. Stevie Johnson and David Nelson are stud wideouts. Hell, even Chris Kelsay is making plays and Scott Chandlaar is channeling everybody's fave ex-Bills Tight End. CAN'T NOBODY HOLD ME DOWN! BRING ON THE WEEK THREE OPPONENT!!! Who is it? Wait.....oh fuck.

Picture
DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! I despise Tawmmy Brady and Wes Welkaaaaaaaah so much I just punched myself in the face. Every time Brady drops back, I pray Bryan Scott takes one for the team and does a human missile right at his knee cap. Have you seen this 2011 Pats team play?

As the quote from Walter Sobchak says in the title, these Patriots believe in nothing. They do not believe in destiny. They do not believe in superstitions. They believe in nothing and will destroy all in their path, leaving scattered bodies in their wake and children in tears. This team is not God-like, and they are not the anti-christ. They are soul-less beings that are out to devour our expectations and piss on our graves. They look tremendously like the 2007 Pats Juggernaut of evil and destruction.

BUT....you know what? Nobody REALLY expects the Bills to win this game. Sure, d-bags on ESPN are comparing Fitz to Jim Kelly, and numerous Buffalo based blogs are saying this could be the end of the vomit-inducing 15 - 0 streak, but everybody else is snickering at the thought that Bills fans ACTUALLY think that this Buffalo Bills team can win. So I say fuck it. Let's see what Chan can do with all of his new weapons. Let's see Marcell "Biggie Smalls" Dareus and Shawn Merriman back up their talk and end the 15 - 0 streak. Let's see Action Jackson get 25 carries and run over a weaker than usual Pats D. Let us pray to all that is good, that these heartless monsters of fury are mesmerized by a glistening beard and an ILB that can actually cover Tight Ends. This team will not be afraid, so neither should we. 

These are the 2011 Buffalo Bills. And in all honesty, nobody has any fucking clue what they may be capable of. Go Bills.


1 Comment
<<Previous

    RSS Feed

    Follow DGWUSports on Twitter

    Recent Posts

    "I guess we have ourselves a reckoning." - Bills vs. Steelers Preview, Week 14

    "I got a nose for white supremacy, and he smells like bleach." Monday Night Football is back, folks.


    Dear God Why Us? In this Economy?

    DGWU Sports #CrapTastiCast Episode 49

    Us

    The Apologist
    @SamiquaLrhubarB

    The Barrister

    The Outlander
    @MattyRenn

    The Commander
    @essbeeay

    DEEG EMERITUS:

    The Yachtsman
    @Y_vo

    Guest Contributors


    And Them

    Black & Blue & Gold
    Buffalo Sabres Nation
    Die By The Blade
    Buffalo Wins
    Nick Mendola
    The Goose's Roost
    Bills Daily
    Sabres Prospects
    Shutdown Pair
    Sal Sports

    Email us!


    Past Drivel

    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    January 2020
    August 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    August 2018
    April 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    March 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    April 2010
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    April 2009


    Tags

    All
    2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs
    Aaron Hernandez
    Aaron Williams
    Adventures In Douchebaggery
    Amar'e Stoudemire
    Analytics
    Andre Reed
    Apostles Of Bob
    Arizona Cardinals
    Arsenal FC
    Arsene Wenger
    Assbaggery
    Auto Racing
    Bad Idea Night
    Baltimore Orioles
    Baltimore Ravens
    Baseball
    Basketball
    Beards
    #becauseitsbuffalo
    Beer
    Big Lebowski
    Bigots
    Big Thoughts
    Bills Mafia
    Bills Previews
    Black Sabbath
    Blue Collar
    Boat Shoes
    Boner_Shorts
    Boobie Dixon
    Booze
    Boston Bruins
    Boston Celtics
    Boston Red Sox
    Boston Sucks
    Brian Moorman
    BroneCast
    Bucky Gleason
    Buddy Nix
    Buffalo Bills
    Buffalo For Real
    Buffalo Sabres
    BuffaloWins
    Buffao Sabres
    Canada Sucks
    Carmelo Anthony
    Cats
    CFL
    Chan Gailey
    Chelsea FC
    Chelsea Licks Taint
    Chicago Blackhawks
    Chicago Cubs
    Chris Hairston
    Christian Ehrhoff
    Christmas
    Circling The Wagons
    Citi Field
    C.J. Spiller
    CK Anal
    Clint Dempsey
    Clownpenis.fart
    CM Punk
    Cody Hodgson
    Cody Mccormick
    Colin Kaepernick
    College Basketball
    College Football
    Cordy Glenn
    Craig Schaller
    CrapTastiCast
    Criminallyvu1ga
    Daft Punk
    Dallas Cowboys
    Daniel Briere
    Daniel Murphy
    Daniel Sturridge
    Dan Snyder
    Dan Wheldon
    Darcy Regier
    David Wright
    Dax McCarty
    Defensemen
    De La Soul
    Derek Roy Sucks
    Detroit Sucks
    DGWU Crew
    DGWU Legal Bureau
    Dick Jauron
    Dominik Hasek
    Donald Sterling
    Donald Trump
    Don Cherry
    Doug Flutie
    Doug Marrone
    Doug Whaley
    DRAFT GOOD!
    Drew Stafford
    Drugs
    Drunk
    E.J. Manuel
    El Greasico
    Emeritus My Balls
    Epic Fail
    Epic Meltdowns
    Epic Rants
    EPL
    Eric Wood
    Examples Of Awful Journalism
    Expats
    Faceless Internet Potshots
    FA Cup
    Fandom
    Fantasy Football
    F.C. Buffalo
    FJM
    Football
    Former Bills
    Former Knicks
    Former Sabres
    Fred Jackson
    Fred Wilpon
    Free Agency
    French Revolution
    Fuck ESPN
    Game Previews
    Game Recaps
    Gangs Are For Pussies
    Gary Bettman
    Gold Cup
    Golf
    Greg Roman
    Guest Contributors
    Hall Of Fame
    Happiness
    Hard Work
    Haterade
    High Character!
    Hillsborough
    Hockey
    Hockey Hall Of Fame
    Hulk Hogan
    Hungover
    IIHF World Championships
    Ike Davis
    Indignation
    Infinite Sadness
    Jack Eichel
    Jairus Byrd
    @jambrones
    James Dolan
    Jason Pominville
    Jeremy White
    Jerry Jones
    Jerry Sullivan
    Jhonas Enroth
    Jim Boeheim
    Jochen Hecht
    Joe Pinz1
    Johan Santana
    Johnny White
    John Scott
    Jon Vogl
    Jordan Leopold
    Jose Reyes
    Josh Beckett
    Jurgen Klopp
    Justin Rogers
    Kawika Mitchell
    Kelly's NYC
    Kelvin Sheppard
    Kevin Durant
    Kevin Youkilis
    Khal Drogo
    Kim Martin
    Kim Pegula
    King Kenny
    Kirk Nieuwenhuis
    Kobe Bryant
    Kraig Urbik
    Kyle Orton
    Kyle Williams
    L.A. Lakers
    Larry Quinn
    Lebron James
    Lee Evans
    Legumes On Your Penis
    Lenny Palumbo
    Leodis McKelvin
    LeSean McCoy
    Lindy Ruff
    Links
    Liveblog
    Liverpool FC
    Long Island
    Los Angeles Kings
    Luis Suarez
    Luke Adam
    Lunchpail
    Mailbag
    Manchester City
    Manchester Fc
    Manchester United
    Maple Leafs
    Marcell Dareus
    Marcus Easley
    Marcus Foligno
    Marcus Stroud
    Mario Williams
    Marshawn Lynch
    Martin Skrtel
    Marv Levy
    Matt Ellis
    Matthew Barnaby
    Matt Moulson
    McFadden's NYC
    Mean
    @Mechaphil
    Media Access
    Media Hit Jobs
    Megsie
    Memories
    Messi
    Metal
    Metallica
    Mets
    Miami Dolphins
    Miami Heat
    Michael Jasper
    Michael Jordan
    Michael Phelps
    Michael Vick
    Michael Vick Is A Fuck
    Mike D'Antoni
    Mike Grier
    Mike Harrington
    Mike Richards Is A Loser
    Mike Schopp
    Mikhail Grigorenko
    Miller
    MLB
    MLS
    Monday Night Football
    Mondee
    Montreal Canadiens
    Moon Bills
    Morality In Sport
    Motorsports
    Mouth Breathers
    Movie Trailers
    Moxy Früvous
    Murderers
    NASCAR
    Nathan Gerbe
    NBA
    Nba Draft
    Near Death Experiences
    Nerd Alert
    New England Patriots
    New Jersey Devils
    New York
    New York City
    New York Islanders
    New York Jets
    New York Knicks
    New York Mets
    New York Rangers
    New York Red Bulls
    New York Yankees
    NFL
    NFL Draft
    Nfl Free Agency
    Nfl Lockout
    NFLPA
    NHL
    Nhl Draft
    Nhl Free Agency
    Nhl Lockout
    NHL Playoffs
    Niagara Falls Reporter
    Nick Mendola
    No Limit Soldiers
    NSFW
    Nwo
    NYCBBB
    Nyc Sabre Summit
    Ny Red Bulls
    Oakland Raiders
    Occupy Nassau
    Offseason
    Oklahoma City Thunder
    Olympic Hockey
    Olympic Soccer
    #OneBuffalo
    Open Bar
    Optimism
    Overtime
    Ozzie Guillen
    Ozzy
    Parenthood
    Party Bus
    Pat Lafontaine
    Patrick Kaleta
    Patrick Kane
    Patriots
    Pat Williams
    Paul Gaustad
    Paul Hamilton
    Paul Posluszny
    Philadelphia Flyers
    Phillipe Coutinho
    Pink Elephant
    Pittsburgh Penguins
    Playoff Hockey
    Playoff Hunt 2011
    Playoffs
    Podacst
    Podcast
    Podcasts
    Post Game Reflections
    Post Game Reflections With The Yachtsman
    Post-Game Reflections With The Yachtsman
    Poz
    Pre Game Panicking
    Premiere League
    Premier League
    Premiership
    Press Conferences
    Pretentiousism
    Professional Wrestling
    Pro Football Hall Of Fame
    Pro Wrestling
    Pussies On Skates
    Qb Suckitude
    Rabbi Darkside
    Racing
    Racism
    Racist Assholes
    R.A. Dickey
    Ra Dickey
    Rafael Benitez
    Raffi Torres
    Rage Against The Machine
    Rage Storms
    Ralph Wilson Jr
    Ramblings
    Rants
    Rare Moments Of Lucidity
    Ray Lewis
    Realignment
    Recaps
    Rednecks
    Reggie Corner
    Rex Ryan
    Rian Lindell
    Roadcast
    Roadcasts
    Roadtrips
    Robert Goulet
    Rob Johnson
    Rob Ray
    Rob Van Dam
    Robyn Regehr
    Rochester Amercks
    Roger Goodell
    Ron Rolston
    Roscoe Parrish
    Running Diaries
    Russ Brandon
    Ryan Fitzpatrick
    Ryan Meanra
    Ryan Miller
    Ryan Nassib
    Sabres
    Sabres Alumni
    Sabres Crunk Mix
    Sabres Development Camp
    Sabre Summit
    Sadness
    Saint Bonaventure
    Sally Ride
    Sammy Watkins
    San Antonio Spurs
    Sanctimonious Shit Sandwich
    San Francisco 49ers
    Scizzette
    Scizz Gets Hard
    Scott Chandler
    September 11th
    Shady
    Shanabans7f1abf80bf
    Shaun Powell
    Shaving Buttholes
    Shawne Merriman
    Shawn Merriman
    Shit Sammies
    Sidney Crosby
    Signings
    Site Update
    Smarten Up
    Snowman Erections
    Soccer
    Spencer Johnson
    Standards Of Decency
    Stan Fischler
    Stanley Cup
    Starlin Castro
    Stephon Gilmore
    Steven Gerrard
    Steve Ott
    Stevie Johnson
    Stoke City FC
    Streetcast
    Strippers
    Subway Series
    Suck It Ref
    Summer Lovin
    Summer Movie
    Summer Movie Preview
    Summer Olympics
    Super Punters
    Super Troopers
    #SupportSally
    Swedes
    Swimming
    Syracuse Basketball
    Tailgating
    Tailgating At The Ralph
    Tank Carder
    Tanking
    Taro Tsujimoto
    Tashard Choice
    Tbn
    Team Captains
    Ted Black
    Ted Nolan
    Terrance Mcgee
    Terrance Williams
    Terrell Owens
    Terrence Mcgee
    Terry Collins
    Terry Pegula
    Thad Lewis
    Thanksgiving
    The Adventures Of Walter Garbinski
    The Apologist
    The Aud
    The Barrister
    The Beautiful Game
    The Big Lebowski
    The Buffalo News
    The Casted Foot
    The Cincinnati Bengals Are Criminals
    The City Of Buffalo
    The Commander
    The Continental
    The Dark Knight
    The Deeg
    The Defenseman
    The Grouch
    The Happy Endings Podcast
    The Hit
    The Hosers
    The Jambrones
    The Kids In The Hall
    The Kinsale
    The Legal Limit
    The Outlander
    The Patriots
    The Pink Elephant
    The Ralph
    The Rock
    The Ronin
    The Scizz
    The Scizzette
    The Undertaker
    The Wayans Brothers
    The Wild Card
    The Wire
    The Wizard
    The Yachtsman
    Thierry Henry
    Things That Matter More Than Sports
    Things That Piss Me Off
    Thomas Vanek
    Thrashers
    Tiger Woods
    Tim Connolly
    Tim Graham
    Tim Kennedy
    Tim Murray
    Tim Tebow
    Todd Collins
    Tom Brady
    Tom Golisano
    Tom The Cat
    Toronto
    Tottenham Hotspur
    Trade Rumor
    Trent Edwards
    True Colors
    Twitter
    Tyler Ennis
    Tyler Myers
    Tyler Thigpen
    Tyrod Taylor
    Ugly Models
    Undertaker
    Undrafted Free Agents
    USMNT
    USWNT
    Vacation
    Vajazzling
    Vancouver
    Vanilla Ice
    Video Games
    Ville Leino
    Vince Mcmahon
    Vincent Tan
    Vince Young
    Violence Is Not Funny
    Von Miller
    Vulgarity
    Wall Of Fame
    Warpath
    Washington Capitals
    Washington Redskins
    Waste Of A Post
    Watkins Glen
    WCW
    WECK 1230
    Weed
    Weezer
    Wembley
    West Wing
    WGR
    Where Are They Now?
    Wilco Sucks
    Winnipeg Jets
    World Cup
    Wrestlemania
    Wrestling
    Wtf
    Wu Tang Forever
    WWE
    Yankees
    You Can Play
    Your Mom

this site powered by the inane musings of raving lunatics